Roald Dahl's Matilda the Musical (2022)

 "This isn't school. It's a prison."

This is the first time I've seen a film at a cinema for a shocking three years, at the splendid and, I'm pleased to see, expanding Phoenix Arts Cinema in Leicester, and once again the reason was Little Miss Llamastrangler. Many thanks to my brother and sister-in-law for treating us.

The film is,of course, splendid fun for all the family, with delightfully witty lyrics courtesy of Tim Minchin. It is, as it necessarily had to be, a very different beast from the 1996 film, set in a very British 1980s of Irn-Bru and bikes from my childhood. Alisha Weir is a revelation and a triumph as our titular heroine, while Emma Thompson is magnificently evil as Trunchbull, whose cruelty is far more apparent here than in the previous film, although there are also hints of a possible actual hinterland..

It's all about the visuals, though, and of course the brilliant songs. There's far more of a whimsical, mischievous sense of humour here that owes far more to Roald Dahl's writing itself than the previous adaptation. There is, of course, a possible subtext- I love Matilda's comment, upon seeing Miss Honey's home, that teachers must be "really badly paid", plus it's easy to see Miss Trunchbull's Gradgrindian regime as a metaphor for the National Curriculum, which was very much an issue ij the late 80s when the novel was written and the film is set. If so, though, any such subtext is worn lightly. More than anything, the film is great fun. Both Little Miss Llamastrangler and I enjoyed it enormously.

Count Magnus

 "What did I do?"

This, the latest Christmas adaptation of a short story by M.R. James, whose work I have not read, is as chillingly well-constructed as we have come to expect. As ever with these things, the plot is simple. It is the essence of the Gothic: an Englishman investigates the tomb, and the unholy antics, of the eponymous count, his curiosity leading to a truly horrific and inevitable downfall.

The Swedish setting is atmospheric and the grisly history superb, with hints of alchemy, devilish beings and the Antichrist. The tale of the two villagers who met their own grisly fates echo that of poor Mr Wraxham, almost the stereotype of the cheerfully ignorant travelling Victorian Englishman. A scholar, a cheerful man, taking nothing seriously until it is too late, he is- with Jason Watkins trning in a perfect performance- quite magnificently doomed by his very complacency.

The plot is nothing unusual; just the same tropes arranged a little diffrerently. No; it is the atmosphere that makes this tale, like all of them, so chillingly effective. May Mark Gatiss haunt our Christmases for many years to come.

Persuasion by Jane Austen

I'm going to start with a controversial comment: this novel and, I rather suspect the novels of Jane Austen in general, is and are unfilmable. For the plot is not the point. Not even the characters, superbly drawn as they are, are the point. No; the joy of Austen lies in her prose, and her subtle soicial commentary, criticising the social mores of her day with a lightness of touch that just about has plausible deniability.

That was the joy of rediscovering this novel at forty-five, having not appreciated it in my youth. This is not some cosy, Downton Abbey period romantic drama but something far, far deeper, and I strongly suspecxt that anyfilm or television adaptation, or most at any rate, would indeed end up as a mere cosy genre piece, entirely missing the (very) suppressed rage in the authorial voice of the rigid social conventions of Regency England, which are subtly condemned. In a similar vein, it would be anachronistic to call Austen a feminist. Yet gender roles and conventions do not go uncommented on.

Yes, there is a rather pat happy ending. But not one that undoes the pain of six years of unnecessary separation of two people forced to deny their love through the petty respectability and snobbishness of those around them. Lady Russell is an idiot, yes. Mr Elliott is a bounder and a cad. Yet the subtle excoriation of Sir Walter exposes him as the worst of them all, and I love how the ending not-so-subtly implies that such things as baronetcies are worthless. Love is what matters. And that we must all be free to choose whom we love.

Sometimes, a classic novel is every bit as sublime as it's said to be.

Hellbound: Hellraiser II (1988)

 "It's not hands that summon us. It's desire."

I write this on 23rd December, 2022. What film could so well instil the Christmas spirit?

This is one of those sequels which challenges the original for top billing. It's that good. It's also fascinating, if at btimres rather gory in a pleasingly latex, stop motion, pre-CGI manner.

The themes, more blatant to me than in the first film are... yeah, kinky is far too soft a word. The underlying, horrific theme here is a sexual fetish for the eteernal torments of Hell, which, well, more tea, vicar? It's a deeply disturbing premise. This is, of course, no bad thing.

This is, really, the perfect horror sequel, building upon and deepening the horrors of the first film. Kenneth Cranham is superb as the occult-obsessed doctor who, desapite his earlier uplifting monlolougue as a brain surgeon, has a massive thing for Cenobite lore.

And the Cenobites are existentially terrifying, distilling the very concept of flesh-ripping torture as they are wont to do. The effects are evilly sublime. And, of course. Ashley Laurence as the star is faultless. Clare Higgins, desapite the odd accent slip, deserves similar praise.

I hope the forthcoming sequels are as good as thois. I have my doubts. But this was superb.

Ms Marvel: No Normal

 "Do you even like British Bake Off?"

At long last I've got Disney Plus working again. I can blog the finale now. Phew. It's been frustrating.

This is, after the intensity of the last few episodes, very much a feel good finale with Damage Control as comedy moustache twirling bad guys, the whole community supporting the new superhero wholeheartedly, and a lighthearted tone combined with awesome set pieces. Yes, I know that kids using Home Alone type tricks against agents with guns isn't realistic. I don't care. 

The whole thing is both fun ad heartwarming. I love Kamala's outing to the whole family, and the bond they all have. I love the positivity of the likes of Sheikh Abdullah, how Zoe doesn't rat Kamala out, how even Aamir joins in.

The one bit of sadness is Kamran, who is understandably hurting, but even he gets a happy ending. as does Kamala, who gets her superhero name at last from her dad.#

And then, two final bombshells. Yeah, yeah, she seems to swap places with Carol Danvers in the post-credits, but... is Kamala the MCU's first mutant?

The Day of the Triffids (1981): Part Three

 "Full bodied. Mature. Just a little pretentious, I would say."

This is more first tier television, right from the cliffhangerrresolution as Bill and Jo find their Ford Cortina attacked by a load of terrifying blind people, one of whom is Morris Barry.

They soon escape from that, and begin to bond as a very real and very well-written couple who both need each other. It's 1981 so, of course, it's Jo who does the cooking and there's a bit of social class awkwardness which is nicely brushed away.

But there's realism. They must leave London. Now civilisation has ended the risk of typhoid and tetanus is too great: they need somewhere less populous, and dream of a place in the country with a well and a generator while philosophising aboit what will happen to human civilisation and the hard choices that lie ahead. They can't save everyone. For humanity to survive, most of the blind must be abandoned. It's horrible, but unavoidable.

Such dilemmas are writ even larger when they meet Michael Beadley and his scarily efficient and certain gang, naive about Triffids, mostly sensible and harsh, but disturbingly insistent on polyamory with a little light misogyny. Surely polygamy, with a small population, just means inbreeding?

This is fascinating, philosophical disaster telly. And the cliffhanger is both exciting and an indicator that our favourite couple may well not be partaking in this dubious utopia.

Better Call Saul: Pimento

 "You're not a real lawyer."

Thgois is a gloriously crafted piece of television, whether we see it as forty-seven minutes of drama in its own right or as a pivotal chapter (this is the penultimate episode of this first season) in a larger narrative. Either way, it's already on course to be a superb bit of telly and then the last twist gets you in the gut.

The Mike subplot is sublime. It's just Mike going on a job, casually being the world weary alpha male and having the measure of arrogant arseholes. But at the same time, in a sense, he's a good man. He's a good and loving grandad. And he gives sound advice to the naive beginner criminal employing him. He's a wise old soul, aware of the contradiction of good and evil, law and crime. He's being developed into a nuanced and interesting character in far greater depth even than in Breaking Bad, where he was less central. This is deeply exciting.

But Jimmy and Chuck... we start with Chuck making promising progress against his ambiguous condition, which is ominous; things are, by the rules of television drama, about to go downhill. And so they do. It's dreadfully cleber, with lots of misdirection. The old folks' case is too big to handle, they take it to Howard, Jimmy gets knocked back... and here comes the misdirection. We think Howard's being a dick.We think he's going to fire Kim for challenging him. But... the hostility towards Jimmy isn't from Howard. It's never been Howard. He may have his foibles, but he's not the enemy. Chuck was. Wow.

So we see a disgusted Jimmy, having worked out the truth, betrayed by his own brother's snobbery, the lawyer as sincere vocation vs Slippy Jimmy, abandining Chuck. I can't find the words for how exquisite this is.

Ms Marvel: Time and Again

 "It was me!"

This episode is wonderful, timey-wimey and cathartic in equal measure. About half of the episode is told in flashback, from the perspective of the young Aisha, as she meets and falls in love with the kind and decent Hasan, becomes a mother and has a happy life... but is visited and threatened by Najma on the eve of Partition. This all makes sense, and is told well, explaining the history of Indian independence to a potentially unfamiliar audience without dumbing down.

And then Kamala and the timey-wimeyness happens. It's all extremely clever. Yes, the Djinn are defeated perhaps implausible easy. But it's lovely that Kamala's mum, whom I'm starting to really like, sees and accepts the whole truth and grows closer to both her mother and her daughter in the process. No more frustrating misunderstandings, yay!

The Djinn are gone. But Kamran is with Bruno, and Damage Control have arrived for the finale. This is excellent stuff.

The Day of the Triffids (1981): Part Two

 "There's nothing we can do!"

This second episode is even more brilliantly horrific than the first. We begin in the hospital, with Bill realising firstly that a patient is blind and then realising the blind doctor, such a comforting authority figure the night before, has jumped to his death.

Outside, things are no better. Looting, pretty much explicitly implied rape, the slow collapse of society. It's all made plain as Bill finds a blind couple with a sighted daughter.And the father is no fool, realising, like Hobbes, that civilisation has gone, and that life is set to become nasty, brutish and short. And his suggesxtion- that Bill stays to protect the block- has merit, I think. Bill can't save everyone. Why not save whom he can?

But Bill travels on, and finally meets posh drunkard Jo, who was saved from blindness by a hangover. There's a rule here, kids: teetotalism is bad, m'kay?

Unfortunately, we then find with full force, so are Triffids, and they've got into the house and killed Jo's father. In the kingdom of the blind, the Triffid is king. It's all out war for survival.

Except humanity, unlike Triffids, is hardly united. And is just as scary, as the cliffhanger shows...

Ms Marvel: Seeing Red

 "Kamala, please don't be weird!"

To Pakistan, then, and it's not just Kamala who gets a wonerful tour of the beautiful-looking Karachi. The city looks glorious, and it's a nice little introduction to Pakistan and broader desi cultural mores, especially for the large American audience.

Kamala gets more than that, though, as she's introduced to the rather cool Red Daggersa, who give her friendship and exposition in equal measure, explaing exactly how dangerous the Djinn are. The Djinn who are at this moment escaping from Damage Control's supermax prison; I'm getting a very Guantanamo Bay feel from all this, as well as outrage as poor Kamran being vindictively left behind.

Meanwhile we also get to know Kamala's wise Nani, and get to see bits of all three generations of mothers are daughters. We see how Muneeba is perhaps angry about her mother's "stories" because she felt neglected. This is a nice human touch.

The confrontation between the Djinn and Red Daggers, plus Kamala, is expected, and the car chase is cool. Less expected is Kamala seeming to travel back in time to 1947. This episode builds and develops on so much, yet the world keeps expanding. Hugely enjoyable telly.

Martyrs (2008)

 "It's so easy to create a victim, young lady. So easy."

I'd be amazed if there was a more disturbing film than this in all of existence. Immediately after watching it I, being quite hardcore, had an experience I'd never before undergone in all of my forty-five years. I felt... not sick, there was no prospect of vomiting, buty something analogous to it. I went into a cold sweat. All this from the profound sense of existential dread by which I, an atheist with stoic and existentialist philosophical sympathies (although, of course Marcus Aurelius would obviously beat Jean-Paul Sartre in a fight), was overwhelmed with. It was a profoundly cathartic and satisfing experience. No other film has ever done that to me.

I shall say as little as possible about the plot: existential dread is a dish best served cold. I shall say that, yes, there's a lot of gore in this film, but the gore is not there to give us a distasteful voyeuristic pleasure. It is necessary. It is instrumental. It exists in order to hammer home (literally, at one point) the hard philosophical subtext that is fare more horrific, for all its abstractness, than any of the hard-to-watch gore.

The film pulls no punches. It brutally exposes the cruelties of life, the absurdity of mortality, the inevitability of suffering and the certainty of death. And yet the final, devastating revelation may, perhaps, contain a kernel of hope. As Existentialists know, in a meaningless universe, we are free to create our own meaning. And there can be no greater freedom.

The acting, the direction, the visual storytelling and especially the storytelling are exquisite, whatever else one may think. This film, despite being truly great in my view, is not one I can honestly recommend to any but the most hardy soul.

The Guardians of the Galaxy: Holiday Special

 "I'm sorry! GoBots killed his cousin!"

This is one of the finest Christmas sitcom episodes- for that is what this is- that I've ever seen. It's superb. And not only for the fact that the eponymous Kevin Bacon is seen watching Santa Claus Conquers the Martians. I like the bloke already, even if he is one of those disgusting actor folk.

The plot may be cheesy- Mantis and Drax feel sorry for Peter Quill at Christmas so they, er, kidnap Kevin Bacon, much hilarity ensues, and Mantis finally tells Peter that she's his sisater. Aww. Heartwarming. Yet the whole thing is gleefully silly, does a lot of violence to the fourth wall, and gets its humour from its well-crafted funny characters. Drax we know well, but Mantis is really fleshed out here, and she's bloody likeable.Kevin Bacon is, of course, awesome, but not as awesome as Mantis and Drax getting rat-arsed from their cosplay money in Hollywood.

Yes, the dodgy ethics of just kidnapping a Hollywood star and, you know, assaulting a few police officers is handwaved away, but why not? That's the tone.

That song about Christmas at the start is a highlight- that Santa Claus chap sounds terrifying. So is "this is human trafficking". But the whole thing is awesome. This is the greatest science fiction holiday special since 1978, despite the lack of Wookies. Plus, Groot as a Christmas tree is a perfect ending.

The Day of the Triffids (1981): Part One

 "If it were a choice of survival between a blind man and a Triffid, I knoew which I'd put my money on."

Obviously, being the sort of chap, I've read the John Wyndham novel several times, although probably not since John Major was prime minister, so it's been a while. Suffice to say I loved it, but was a wee slip of a lad at the time. And still am, of course, at a mere forty-five years.

This is the first adaptation I've seen, and I'm impressed. It's incredibly cheap so far, of course, very close to being a one-hander with John Duttine as Bill, other characters appearing only in flashback, and relativrly few sets in this all but studio bound production. Only on brief occasions do we have the building entirely surrounded by film.

The tape recorder is a bit obvious as an excuse for exposition, but I'll admit the premise is well-introduced and the storytelling is clear, as we feel throughout the tension building for both the world, as we slowly realise what has gone wrong, and Bill, whose worries for his eyesight are shared by us.

And those Triffids avtually look bloody terrifying.

I'm very impressed indeed so far.

Venom: Let There Be Carnage (2021)

 "You said I could eat bad guys!"

I only watched this film as an easy watch after a knackering day, expecting a non-demanding bit of third rate superhero fluff- much like this film's predecessor, enjoy it though I did.

Instead, directed by Andy Serkis- he of the recent extraordinary performance in Andor- we have a taut, entertaioning action film that doesn't outstay its welcome and develops its characters superbly. I know not of Carnage and Shriek- they are after my time as far as the comics are concerned- but I really loved them as characters, well written and acted. Woody Harrelson in particular is superb as a serial killer who, we learn only at the last minute, was made that was by child abuse. It just goes to show that those who participate in judicial killing, whether signing death warrants or administering a lethal injection, are as evil as their victims and deserve no less.

Not only the villains are well-characterised, of course. Ediie and Venom's bromance gets a nice little arc, and both of them come to accept that Anne is lost to them, and to wish her well.

The plot is simple yet effective, with the King Kong conclusion an oldie but goodie. This is a film about love, however twisted; about the lingering effects of child abuse; about the evils of judicial killing- those who take part in this vice all die- but, most of all, it's a rollicking ride.

And that mid-credits, echoing Spider-Man: No Way Home: the fugitive Eddie/Venom are in the MCU...?

La Belle et la Bete (1946)

 "May the Devil himself splatter you with dung!"

I'm not kneejerk anti-Disney- I have a seven year old daughter; I'm not allowed to be- but there are Disney fairytales and there are real fairytales, invariably much darker, from an ahe when it was understood that tales for children needed a certain amount of darkness.

This is, basically, not the Disney version. Barring a few sensible adjudstments (Belle hasn't got eleven siblings, just a mere three), this is pretty much the original tale by (deep breath) Gabrielle-SuzanneBarbot de Villeneuve, no relation, I assume, to the Canadian racing drivers. She wrote the tale in 1740, but the costumes here reflect the reign of Henri IV, with the men all having very long hair, like mine, and stovepipe hats.

Story-wise, this is the proper fairy tale, with a couple of artistic twists towards the end. The acting is superb. But this is not the point: it's the 1940s. Realism rules.Yet Jean Cocteau, no slave to convention and apparently having a very proper appreciation of the Greek myths,is a bloodyt genius diredtor. The various disembodied hands within the Beast's home are magnificently weird, as are the moving statues. This is the type of fantasy cinema that would go on to influence much, including Pan's Labyrinth.The imagery, as well as the storytelling, are iconic, yes, but that ois insufficient praise. This is a mouls to be used by so much fantasy cinema, yet it's more than that. This is fairytale cinema done seriously and beautifully.

Century Falls: Episode 6

 "Before disaster came, when things were perfect still."

This script is beautiful; consider the quote above with its perfect iambs. And this is a beautiful finale, satisgying thematically as much as in terms of plot, with every character getting perfect focus and development.

I've been ambivalent about Century Falls. It's been fun getting the Doctor Who Easter Eggs- characters called Ashe and Josiah, a mysterious Watcher, the whole vibe. And I'm aware there's a lot more subtext here- about hope, about indivoiduality vs comformity on several layers- that I've been slow to realise. But it has, at times, been hard going.

That is not at all the case for this perfect final episode. Even Julia gets redemption and closure, and only Josiah unambiguously dies. It took a while to get here but this finale makes me glad that, like Tess, I kept the faith.

Ms Marvel: Destined

 "Excuse me, Miss Agent... next time, remove your shoes."

Where to begin here? Perhaps with the reveal that Kamran's grandma Najma is the leader of a group of ageless djinn, seen in flashback in 1942, and that Kamala's missing grandma is one of them. Perhaps we begin at the end with that train to Karachi- is Kamala's missing grandmother returning?

Perhaps we begin with the tension between Kamala's secret and her parents who are, in the main, supportive. Or Nakia, a close friend, who is upset to find that Kamala has been hiding big things from her. Or with Bruno, who is soon off to Caltech and away from his friends.There's a lot going on.

But it's also lovely to see Muslim people presented as normal, the culture of the subcontinent, a Muslim wedding followed by a Bon Jovi covers band and Bollywood dancing. And to see the imam's (and Nakia's) response to Damage Control, comedy official baddies representing Islamophobia.

And let's be clear: I'm an atheist. No religion, or its beliefs, should be free from criticism. But there is a point- a point which the likes of Richard Dawkins and his ilk have repeatedly breached- at which that kind of thinking- thinking that I share- can cross a line and assist in the demonising of a minority group which has uncomfortable echoes from the 1930s.

I love this series. It reminds me of early '60s Spider-Man, but with samosas.

Century Falls: Episode 5

 "I've never tied anyone up before..."

I have, thus far, defended RTD's script for Century Falls while allowing criticism to fall upon the production. After all, the dialogue is rich and the characters convincing. And yet... this fifth episode is just running around to no good purpose.

Worse, the revelation of who Julia is falls flat. I expected more than some nebulous sense of her being some kind of gestalt entity for the whole village. There's some nice character stuff wiyth Carey and Ben, and the two Harkness sistors, and the cliffhanger is exciting, but tnis penultimate episiode has very little substance.

This is, perhaps, a fifth episode thing. RTD is, as we know, a bloody good writer, though rather young here. And Dark Season was a pair of linked three parters.

Hopefully the finale will impress.

Better Call Saul: RICO

 "Blow my magic flute..."

It's getting increasingly difficult to find new ways of saying that each episode of Better Call Saul is bloody excellent telly, but my God this is gripping. Jimmy gets properly stuck into a new case where old people in a homde are being defrauded, things seem to go well... and even Chuck seems to get his mojo back. And potentially be cured? We shall see. I'm certain he's doomed.

It's great seeing the whole story unwind. There are moments of simultaneous comedy and ingenuity, such as jimmy writing a legal document on toilet paper. And the David vs Goliath nature of all this is shown by a posh, espensively dressed lawyer calling Jimmy while he's stuck in a bin.

We also see Mike as doting grandfather, and hints that he's looking for a new job. And we get a fascinating flashback to Jimmy's relative youth, with him being resourceful and Howard being, as ever, a dick.

Writing, direction, acting... all are excellent. And the story is unfolding very nicely indeed.

Bill & Ted's Excellent Adventure (1989)

 "Be excellent to each other!"

Obviously, I've seen this film a million times. That goes withoit saying. But that was before my blogging days, and it was in another century. And besides, the wench is... sorry.

Anyway. we all know the story, and how splendidly silly it is; Bill and Ted must manage not to flunk history (how do they pass everything else???!!!) in order to one day form the band that will end all war and poverty by being awesome. This proves that we metalheads will save the world, although presumbly with better guitars.

It's not about this. It's about the gleeful playfulness with history, the irreverence. It's about that late 80s rock zeitgeist. It's about Keanu Reeves' firsr venture into Hollywood, although Alex Winter is seemingly the more characterful of the two. It's about Napoleon and water slides.

It's about military schools, presented here as comedy, but... resder, if you have ever sent your child to one, taught in one, or endorsed their existence in any way, you are subhuman scum. That is all. Thank you.

It's about the coolness of shsdes in 1989. It's about how the phone box time machine is in no way the TARDIS, and how the very concept of a phone booth evokes such nostalgia in 2022.

This very silly and very cool film is not, on the surface, very clever. But thst's misleading as there's quite a lot going on, much of which breaks the fourth wall.

5 Minute Dating (2010)

 "It's quite a funny story, actually..."

I love a horror film with a punchline.

This is at once a sad little meditation on how unfortunate datring must be for the disfigured while also having fun with the concept. There's a lot of gleeful body horror. And the punchline, of which I shall say nothing, is great.

The comic acting, too, is flawless, from a largely unknown cast. And one cannot but praise the make-up.

The film may be short- it is, ineffect, structured as a one liner, but it's brilliantly executed and bloody hilarious. I shall say no more, as spoilers really matter here, but watching this is an excellent use of four minutes, should nuclear armageddon happen. Although you may well just miss the punchline.

Curve (2016)

Good old Existentialism. Life is a struggle with no objective purpose, but there is liberation in the fact that we are therefotr free to make our own.

This applies no less if one happens to be suspended, on a curve, above an abyss and struggling to cling on to life. The concept of the film is superb, but so is Laura Jane Turner's extraordinary facial acting, with not one word of dialogue. The visual framing of every shot is sublime. Each minor event is hugely shocking and effective. The increasingly bloody hands of our nameless, desperate protagonist foreground the utter absence of any hope. Yet she struggles, she asserts herself regardless. And there is power in that, a power she creates for herself.

It is the concept itself that lingers in the mind. For we are all mortal, and must live with the certainty of our eventual extinction. It is up to us to find our footholds, however bloody our fingers become, to struggle through the suffering that is life, to find meaning in the brief candle of existence.

Pondering such things puts me in a defiantly upbeat mood. Ladies and gentlemen, I'm a bit weird.

Portrait of God (2022)

"Why does God appear to them and not us?"

This, at seven and a bit minutes long, is a serious contender for the best horror film I've ever seen. It's a simple, existentially deep idea, perfectly executed. 

The framing of the shots, and the camera's use of darkness, are exquisite. From the very beginning the darness blurs the distinction between the diegetic and the non-diegetic. And the horror comes not from jump scares and gore but from old-fashioned suspense, and what we don't see. Darkness again.

As for the brief appearance of God... Slenderman, step aside. The design and framing of the concluding moments are another level of exquisite.

Possibly in Michigan (1983)

 "The three of them have two things in common- violence and perfume."

We live in a surreal world. One where male violence against women is, to a degree, normalised, and we almost accept it as natural that women should not have the freedom to walk alone in the dark that those of us with a y chromosome take for granted. This is surreal, so why not use surrealism to tackle it?

This short bit of surreal cinema is absolutely superb, subverting the male gaze in every way. The acting style is deliberately removed from realism. Musicals are surreal by nature, and this leans into that. The most obvious phallic symbol is a pathetic little worm. The scene of sexual violence is particularly surreal in its presentation, removing any possibility of fetishising it.

The music, font, clothes, everything, are of course gloriously '80s, but the message resonates just as strongly forty years on, sadly.

Braindead (1992)

 "I kick arse for the Lord!"

I utterly adore this film with all my heart. It is, of course, absolutely nothing like a cerain trilogy Peter Jackson would later helm. Said film may evoke the New Zealand landscape spectactularly but, well... the cast is as follows: the Hobbits consist of two Americans, an Irishman and a Scotsman. Aragorn is Norwegian. I could go on. 

But this film is very New Zealand.

This film is gory in exactly the way non-gore fans like myself prefer: comedically. And it fulfils the comedy enormously Yes, we end with a splendid, extended, zombie set piece, as we may well espect and want. But this film is New Zealand genius.

The zombies, including the zombie baby (it's a nuce sequence), look superb. No CGI here: it's 1992.  Have sime stop motion instead.plus the verbal wit is superb. Really superb.

The acting is sublime. Let us mention in dispatches Timothy Balme, whom I know not from anything else. The kung fu priest is hilarious, but there are so mmy genius linres. The '50s setting wasn't necessarily essential, but it adds depth: it works. The script ks comedy genius. The gore is... and I choose the adjective with care... hilarious. This superb New Zealand fim has a serious claim to being the greatest zombie film ever made.7

Ms Marvel: Crushed

 "No Snapchatting in the Masjid!"

This is, of course, another perfecr episode. Witty, full of humour and character, and once again subtly introducing both Islamic life and South Asian culture to an American audience. We get a potted history of Partition and get a nicely effective look at what it's like inside a Mosque and the different cliques that frequent it.

We also learn a little more about Kamala's mysterious and controversial great grandmother, about whom rumours abound. She gets her second outing as a superhero.And we meet the baddies- Damage Control, from an old limited series or two back in my era.

And we meet the almost comically seductive Kamran... and his mother.

This is utterly magnificent telly.

Andor: Rix Road

" Oppression is the mask of fear. Remember that."

This is, if not unexpected in what happens, a tense and taut finale with lots of intense character moments as everyone gathers round for Maarva's funeral- with her fiery death speech inspiring the people of Fennix to rise against the empire. Hope may, indeed, lie in the proles.The riot is glorious.

Other sruff happens; Mon Mothma lays the ground of a cover story for her financial doings, but nevertheless introduces her daughter to that dodgy bloke's son in a possible forced marriage, Ouch. But it's mostly focused on and around the funeral, with Andor rescuing poor Bix and getting his friends a way off the planet. Interesting that Syril Kane should save Dedra from certain death. He clearly has not only ambition but a huge crush on her. To be continued, I've no doubt.

The ending is something of a cliffhanger; will Luthen, who will do anything for the cause, murder Andor to keep him quiet? Cassian calling his bluff is an extraordinary piece of acting from Diego Luna. And this is an extraordinary finale.

Century Falls: Episode 4

 "Being alone is the easiest escape there is."

This episode is the turning point, full of revelations. Tess and her mother are reconciled, both with each other and with the truth: Elizabeth was adopted, but was born in Century Falls. We also hear a fuller account of what happened in 1953, and who Century is... although we get only hints of who Century is.

We learn who it is that Richard Naismith has been keping prisoner, though; his own father, Dr Josiah Naismith. We Doctor Who fans find all this very Ghost Light, no doubt very deliberate from RTD. There are lots of nice little character touches, too- Julia's manipulation of Ben, and her interesting longing for oblivion. Who is she?

And yet... somehow the brilliance of the poetic, beautiful script is not conveyed well by the visuals and, perhaps, the acting. Nevertheless, this is getting interesting.

Ms Marvel: Generation Why

 "You're Kamala Khan. If you want to save the world, then you're going to save the world."

I'm far too old to know Kamala Khan from the comics; she's after my time and Carol Danvers was my Ms Marvel. But that mean's I'm coming to this series fresh... and it's wonderful.

How to sufficiently praise this delightful piece of television? As a comedy, it works perfectly- witty; real, likeable characters; superb and visually comedic direction. Hilarious, fourt-wall breaking, but with real heart. Kamala, her parents, her brother Aamir, and Bruno are all instantly both likeable and real, which is a triump of both script and acting.

Also, this is an American show, and the USA has a history of not being great in its depiction of either South Asian people or Muslims. It's so refreshing, as a Brit, to see something that evokes Goodness Gracious Me or Bend It Like Beckham in the lightly assured way it has fun with the cultural contrasts without ever stereotyping.

The episode establishes both the characters and the set-up with aplomb. So what is this bracelet from Kamala's grandma? What does it do? What are the family secrets? I'm excited.

Better Call Saul: Bingo

 "Why are you sending her to the cornfield, Howard?"

This episode isn't as good as the last one, but what episode is? This is neveryheless an intriguing little self-contained little story that presumably finishes off the tale of the Kettlemans. Yet, beneath the fun, Jimmy isn't seemingly doing very well, despite his bluster.

Indeed, there's an air of impending tragedy. Chuck has found a sense of purpose and optimism which is bound to be dashed... although what is Jimmy's rather obvious plot to get him to look at those files...? Mike seems to be in legal trouble, but seems to have ways of handing it which Jimmy is clearly not privy to. But I love the vibe between the two of them.

The episode, despite its cleverness, is about two very tough decisions. The decision by the Kettlemans to accept their fate, and what is best; and the decision by Jimmy to do the right thing for Kim. He genuinely loves her, which is heartwarming. Yet, for valid reasons, she has to turn down his business proposal.

I suspect things are not going well for Jimmy at all. And we shall soo see the fallout. Excellent bit of telly.

Century Falls: Episode 3

 "I'm aware only that three spinster women have nothing better to do than gossip."

This is, it has to be said, a slow episode, but I don't think the failt is that of RTD's script, which feels very classic kids' TV stuff and, I noticed today, has twin sisters named "Harkness", a link between Agatha and Captain Jack.

Of course, the big character thing is that Tess's mother wants to keep her away from the Harkness sisters, bitter at what Esme said and understandably so. But the way she speaks to her poor daughter for believing the story is horrifying.

We see a little more, though not much, of what happened at the temple in 1953, and a gold masked woman called "Century". It's a nice drip, drip, drip for the third episode of six.

And then the big revelation... Julia, the "maid", is really in charge. I didn't see that coming, but it makes sense in hindsight. Is she Century? I'm dsure there's much to come.

And yet, despite the script, I think the direction and the cast aren't quite selling this as well as they could.

Andor: Daughter of Ferrix

 "Everything's all right..."

After last week's extrsaordinary drama it's back to getting all the pieces in order for the final two episodes. It's an episode of prep, not bnecessarily of action. So we get Andor and Melshi- and very possibly no one else- off that prison planet hellhole. We, and poor Andor, learn that his mother is dead. We, but not Andor, see that the funeral is being prepared by Dedra as a trap.

Yet the rest of the galaxy, under the Empire's horrifying totalitarianism, remains a prison. We are reminded of Bix's awful torture. Mon Mothma condfides to Vel how much trouble she's in, and how she will have to accept the betrothal of her only daughter to the son of a monster for the greater good, a particularly harsh example of the kind of brutal moral choices made routinely by Luthien- one of which is revealed to a horrified Saw.

Luthien gets the coolest moment, of course, as his little ship rather awesomely outmaneouvres a Star Destroyer.

It's all character and plot thread development with no fireworks. But the fireworks are coming. And yet again the world building is superbly on theme.

 

Moon Knight: Gods and Monsters

 "Are you an Egyptian superhero?"

"I am."

This surprisingly short yet satisfying finale packs everything in. We have an epic battle full of twists and turns between a despearate Khonshu and a terrifying Ammit. We have Tawaret continuing to be adorable, and Layla being awesome as her temporary avatar. We get cool superheroics in the heart of Cairo.

Yet we also get more scenes in the psych ward; we're made clear which reality is real, but Marc really does have Dissociative Identity Disorder, in a way which involves no fantasy elements whatsoever. And, as we're to discover- and have, I think, had hints of previously- that there is a third, and rather violent, personlaity: Jake Lockley.

Yet the core of it all is the new-found bond between Marc and Steven. This is at once a simple and a complex finale.

And I appreciated the not-so-subtle tribute to Bill Sienciewicz.

Century Falls: Episode 2

 "All the past of Century Falls- and it's coming back."

The plot thickens. So Richard has powers too, as do many in the village; Ben is merely particularly powerful.Then there's the "Gathering", where those villagers with a "birthright"do this psychic seance type thing. Oh, and no pregnancy in the village has been carried successfully to term for forty years, which is not good news for Tess' mum.

However, good though the script is, and good though much of the adult cast are, this suffers a bit from an abundance of child actors, all three of which are adequate but little more. There's an intriguing and effective atmosphere, though, in spite of this clearly not being an expensive programme to make. 

The village's attitude towards outsiders is clearer now, with Tess and her mum in a rather worrying position. Richard is all the more sinister. And what is this creepy, gold-masked figure? This is a very different series to Dark Season, and the characters, while well written, are less charismatic; there's no one to compare with Marcie.

Still, I'm enjoying this.

Easy Street (1917)

It's been a while since I've watched a silent comedy short, so here's another one. After all, all of them are well out of copyright and many if not all of them can just be watched on YouTube or similar.

This is a another fairly early Chaplin short, although it's very good indeed, with the visual comedy being truly first class and Chaplin himself being extraordinary- the mannerisms, the walk, the facial expressions. He's every bit as good as his reputation.

As ever, with silent films and especially with comedy shorts, you really have to focus on what's going on visually. I'll admit that there are bits of the plot I only really grasped after reading a synopsis. It just goes to show how the experience of watching a film is so fundamentally different if everything has to be communicated visually in a world where cinema-goers were all used to that level of concentration as a matter of course. The rise of sound would fundamentally change that.

Yet the humour absolutely works, a hundred and five years later, despite coming from a time when Russia had a czar and the Ottoman and Austro-Hungarian empires were still a thing. In many ways, the world as seen in this comedy is a very different one from ours. But slapstick is timeless. And this is some of the very finest slapstick known to humanity.

The Dark Knight Rises (2012)

 "No guns. No killing."

"Where's the fun in that?"

I've been putting off this film for years. Oh, its predecessor was a good action film, and was centred around a sublime performance by the late Heath Ledger. But it wasn't a good Batman film. I was expecting the same of this.

I was wrong. This is both a brilliant action film- the set pieces are universally sublime- and an equally brilliant Batman film. The typically wooden performance of Christian Bake matters not: the characterisation of Bruce Wayne, eight years after Batman has retired and Rachel has died, is at the centre of everything. He slowly regains hope, is beaten away from it, and symbolically rises from mpossible odds. It's all sublime.

I know not of Bane from the comics. He was after my time. Yet Tom Hardy, despite some accent slippage, is excellent as the muscular, pseudo-intellectual ewpitome of the sort of characters that could only have existed in the '90s.

A more pleasing character is an unusually engaging Catwoman: Anne Hathaway is both charismatic and brilliant, with so many little nuances to her performance. Joseph Gordon-Levitt is superb as a young, orphan cop who identifies with Bruce becausevof how he lost a parent. Morgan Freeman, as Lucius Fox, commentts wryly on the corporate side. Alred, meanwhile, has lost his stiff upper lip. Yet, if he's played by the extraordinary Michael Caine, who cares?

Yes, everybody bloody knows Bruce is the Batman. But I found this film to be excellent. Both the direction and the performances were sublime .

Moon Knight: Asylum

 "There can be no progress without understanding."

Ok. This one is deep. Almost certainly the pivotal episode, in fact.

This is a superb piece of television. We know not what is real. Is it the asylum, with Dr Harrow? Is it the Egyptian afterlife, with the lovely goddess Tawaret. Along those two realities, we have Marc's traumatic past, How he, being very young, led his younger brother into a cave and he drowned. And yet... we saw his mother neglectfully entrust the safety of her youngest son to his still very young older brother. She's a grown-up. Her Ro-Ro's death is her fault.

Her physical and mental abuse of Marc is inexcusable, despite her grief., and we see it through Steven's horrific eyes ashe sees the "mum" he's been frequently phoning. She's dead. And an abuser. It's made very clear where Marc's demons come from. And, indeed, where Steven came from. This is a place of real darkness. And from there, we see the disturbing origin of Moon Knight.

As an aside, I'm glad they acknowledged, within the origin story we see here, both that Khonshu is a manipulative bastard and that Khonshu is Jewish. As for whether reality is the mental hospital or the Egyptian afterlife, it's left nicely ambiguous.

But don't you want to hug the lovely goddess Tawaret? She may have helped Marc escape to stop Arthur, But Steven's soul is gone..

Andor: One Way Out

 "I burn my decency for someone else's future..."

This is an extraordinary episode of television. Obviously the focus is on the priso escape, a heost in reverse, full of drama and tension. But, more than that, it's about the intense and extraordinary performance of Andy Serkis, whose performance deserves recognition come award season, as Kino Roy, a man of such intense and nuanced character who saves everyone yet must be left behind because he cannot swim. It's that good. That alone is enough to elevate this episode to the sublime.

And then we get Luthen, coordinating the Rebellion, making harsh decisions, choosing to let the empire kill fifty men rather than reveal the existence of a spy. And his speech, when challenged by the spy, is a thing of art, expressing the moral ambiguities which one must face when destroying fascism.

Thois is an upbeat episode. A moment of triumph, as five thousand men escape. Yet the existential horror of tyranny remains. The Empire is not some movie serial space tyranny. It is Lukashenko. It is Khamenei. It is Trump. It is Crown Prince Mohammed. It is Putin. As ever in Andor.

Century Falls: Episode 1

 "If you were born outside Century Falls, you're always an outsider!"

Yes indeed, this is a local village for local people.

I've been wishing to watch this early kids' drama by Russell T. Davies for years. It's very different from Dark Season, but feels very much in the lineage of a certain type of childrens' telefantasy. We have the Falls themselves, a mysterios temple that burned down forty years ago despite being made of stone- are these suspicious villagers pagan? Have Tess and her pregnant mother stumbled into The Wicker Man?

The characterisation, and the dialogue, are brilliantly RTD. Tess and her mum seem very real in comparison to the otherworldly villagers and those strange kids, Carey and the disturbingly odd Ben, a complex figure, with bullying tendencies and hidden depths, seemingly feared even my hos despairing father.

So many secrets and subplots are developing already, yet it's all very easy to follow. This is all rather intriguing.

Moon Knight: The Tomb

 "I squashed it, I squashed it."

I was enjoying Moon Knight already... but that was a turn to the unexpected. Shades of Legion there.

The bulk of the episode, with Steven and Layla exploring the tomb, is perhaps a little slow, despite the hostile mummies and the revelations. Layla and Steven are getting on really rather well, and Marc is jealous, keeping his distance from Layla only to protect her from Khonshu. It's a very interesting two body love triangle.

Yet we also have the revelation that Marc's "partner" killed Layla's father. Is this "partner" a third persona, perhaps the same one as has been hinted at before, a bloodthirsty killer?

We also have the tomb of Alexander the Great. And Steven showing himself to be a bloody good arccaeologist.

The conversation between Layla and Harrow is fascinating. But not as fascinating as what happens when Harrow shoots Marc, and reality gets very weird and uncertain. I don't really think that Marc is in a mental home and Harrow is his psychiatrist, but I have no idea what's going on. And I like not knowing.

And then a bloody hippo-headed goddess appears. Brilliantly bonkers.

Better Call Saul: Five-O

 "I am asking you to take a few ounces of lukewarm coffee and spill it on him."

Bob Odenkirk is certainly  in this, an episode of the show in which he's the nominal star. He even gets a moderately meaty and typically enjoyable supporting role, which nicely develops the relationship between him and Mike. But this, for one episode only, is The Mike Ehmentraut Show. And Jonathan Banks, after several episodes of him being a mysterious figure in the background if not for the obvious dramatic irony, gives us an extraordinary star turn.

The revelations keep coming as the mystery is develops. Mike's son Matt, a cop too, is dead, leaving Mike's daughter-in-law Stacey and his beloved Kaylee. And so we learn the devastating story of how Mike came to Albuquerque.

The episode is cleverly structured, like a whodunit. But it also shows how damned clever Mike is, with the trap he lays for his son's killers. Yet the most extraordinary part of this extraordinary piece of television is Mike's monologue to Stacey at the end. Jonathan Banks gives us, for the first time ever, a deeply emotional Mike. And his performance is an absolute tour de force. Incredible.

Johnny Got His Gun (1971)

 "I'll pray for him for the rest of my days. But I will not risk testing his faith against your stupidity."

Two things first. One: this film is one of the finest works of cinematic art to which I've been exposed, and I've blogged many hundreds of films. I'm very grateful to the lovely individual who introduced me to it. Two: yes, I've seen the video to Metallica's "One" probably hundreds of times. That means, firstly, that there were spoilers, although I don't think that matters and, secondly, that finding clips I recognised provided some relief from the beautiful yet cathartic horror of what this film is about.

It's an anti-war fim, yes, completely and absolutely; the end caption drives that home. But there is so much subtext here. The poetry of both the dialogue and the direction is painfully exquisite. The sheer horror of imagining oneself without eyes, nose, limbs, mouth, movement, yet forced to live one's natural span with nothing but interior life and what touch and feeling one is permitted. The ambiguity between dream and reality, with sedatives further blurring the lines. The importance of kindness, a kiss on the forehead. The joy of sunlight. 

The longing for extinction. For this cannot be life.

Joe's dreams of the past- in colour, for the monochrome of the present has an obvioius symbolism- mix memory and surrealism. The sweet yet only time that he and Corrine, people of their time, in 1917, enjoy the union of their bodies. His innocence. The cynical evil of a world that, having communicated with him and registered his wish to die, keep him alone, secret, to live and suffer. The frustrated kindness of the nurse and his love for her. 

It's hard to process, shortly after a first viewing, how much meaning there is in this film.But it is magnificent, cathartic, beautiful.

Andor: Nobody's Listening

 "I can't help him. I can't help anyone."

Andor continues to be the best television exploration of totalitarianism. Where to start? With Dedra being menacingly evil while having Bix tortured, with her being scarily efficient at uncovering everything? With Mon Mothma be caught with her funding rebel activities, and by the way Vel is her cousin? 

All these things emphasise the sheer intensity of Imperial oppression. Yet there are those who benefit. Dedra, despite the tightrope she walks. Syril Kane, who seems to be obsessed with her as much as his own ambition. That's a fascinating and creepy dynamic.

But the focus is on that prison, The horror of it, the hopelessness of escape. Yet, slowly, even Andy Serkis' prisoner supervisor starts to see the hopelessness as an old man, forty shifts from release, has a stroke and is euthanised. And it's realised that no one ever leaves; released prisoners are simply reassigned. There are only life sentences. That's evil.

And even the supervisor turns against them.

This is bleak, powerful stuff.

Moon Knight: The Friendly Type

 "To signal for an audience with the gods is to risk their wrath."

Wow.This episode switches everything around. This time we follow Marc Spector with Steven in the mirrors, pleading his hieroglyphical expertise; quite the reversal of roles. And it's fascinating to see the new dynamic, Marc as leading man, Steven in his old role, Layla's dynamic with nthem both.

But the scene now shifts to Egypt, a fascinatingly different setting and dynamic. And somehow Ethan Hawke as Arthur Harrow is even more exttraordinarily charismatic. He really does steal the show. And yetv Oscar Isaac is astrounding. The transition from Marc to Steven is an amazing bit of facial acting.

And so much happens in Egypt. The gods of said ancient land... get gaslit by Arthur Harrow. Wow. Thart's embarrassing. Poor Khonshu.

Yet the wider Marvel universe impinges for the first time. We meet the Egyptian pantheon, via their avatars. We get mention of Madripoor. We get Midnight Man. I suspect all of this will resonate later more than it does now. The Egyptian gods, gulls though they may be, shall recur.

As shall I. This programme enthrals me.

Andor: Narkina 5

 "You think the Empire stops to catch its breath?"

The episode begins like the Space Fall episode of Blake's 7 as a pseudonymous Andor and others are transported to a  prison planet, but soon takesa darker turn as we are forced to see the shher awful grind of life in an Imperial factory prison.

Yet the prison works also as metaphor for totalitarianism under Empire, with all civil liberties and natural justces eroding into utter tyranny. Yet, like a boiled frog, much of the populace, particularly privileged senators on Coruscant who, unlike a Mon Mothma desperately trying to hide her illicit funds, come out with statements like "If you're doing Nothing wrong, what is there to fear?" 

Yet all prison sentences are doubled. Arrests and imprisonment are, as we've seen, arbitrary. One is reminded of the vile, disgusting, tyrannical leaders of Russia, China, Iran, Myanmar, Belarus, Saudi Arabia and others. Palpatine is no different, but there is hope despite the oppression. As Luthen says, tyranny begets rebellion. And I suspect we're seeing that in the person of Kassian. Even Bix is arrested...

Absolutely first class.

Better Call Saul: Alpine Shepherd Boy

 "Hey, I'm not the one with the sex toilet..."

The sex toilet scene is, of course, utterly bloody hilarious. It's not often I laugh out loud at the telly, but I ceertainly let out a bit of a guffaw tonight.

Anyway, Jimmy's exploits last episode have drummed up business, but not necessarily the right business. We get the sex toilet. We get this weird right wing nutjob who wants to secede from the USA, something which has historically gone very well indeed. It's a light-hearted sequence, leading to him 

And then things aren't light-hearted at all as we discover more about Chuck, and his delusions that any electromagnetic devide will make him ill. This is a big reveal, and shows the horrible situation Jimmy is in. He really should get Chuck cmmitted, but it would feewlmlike a betrayal, and Chuck would see it as such.

Worse, it's Chuck's moral principles that are keeping the Slippy Jimmy instincts at bay. I strongly suspect Chuck is not long for this world. After the humour, we get potential real darkness.

And then the coda, with Mike. It seems we're about to learn more about him. Love the fact it's the same house and even the same cafe.

Utterly sublime, as ever.

Robo Vampire (1988)

 "Since Tom's dead. I'd like to use his body to make an android-like robot, Mr Glenn."

Oh dear.

This is, let's be clear from the start, a bloody awful film. Yes, the dialogue is awful. And it's awful throughout. See "Listen, we must find a way to handle Tom, that goddamn anti-drug agent." Yes, marvel at the crude, "as you know, Bob" exposition.

The poster, of course, in no way invokes RoboCop, released the previous year. But the film isn't so much of a straight rip-off as a mish-mash of bonkers ideas. It is,indeed, a series of set pieces and bonkers dialogue. One cannot help but love its un-selfconscious rubbishness.

I mean, there are "Dao vampires", who jump like rabbits and serve the Hong kong drug lords for some reason. That there is a ghost who resents that she has been denied afterlife with her beloved and vows revenge with gloriously terrible dialogue... "You can kill us, but not until our love is consummated".

Yes, quite. Such naturalistic dialogue..

She then proceeds to work for the baddies in return for marrying her vampire beloved. And it can't be stressed how terrible said vampires look.They have Rice Krispies on their faces, and  the jumping about is... yeah.

I thought this film would be enyertaingly rubbish. I mean, it's by Godfrey Ho, rhe king of dun B-moviesa, But... wwll, this fulm does havew many entertaninglynrubbish moments. But I cannot ewmphasise how shite it is,

If you much watch this film, prodigious quantities of alcohol are utterly essewntial. Teetotalers shouls avoid at all costs.

Cronos (1993)

 "You're going to Heaven covered in make-up. Your wife will think you've been with a whore."

'Tis the weekend before Halloween, so a horror film seems appropriate. And it's been a while since I've blogged a film by the great Guillermo del Toro, so here's an early film of his, indeed his first. And... yes, it's bloody good.

This is, at heart, a vampire movie. Yet it takes the simple idea, puts it among real people with real emotions and relationships in a very real Mexico City, and explores it from a new angle, as a type of immortality invented by a late Renaissance alchemist who fled to Mexico in 1536.

Unusually, the protahonist, Jesus Gill, is an elderly grandfather who sells antiques and dotes on his little grandaughter who, as the film progresses, becomes increasingly creepy through no fault of her own. His path to vampirism is both real and moving, because of both his love of family and his religiosity.

The baddies are believable too- a desperate old man seeking rejuvenation before his cancer kills him, and his put-upon thug of a nephew played superbly- if not really in Spanish- by Ron Perlman. Yet this is, at heart, despite the effective horror set pieces and ideas- I love the use of insects- this is a film with a lot of heart, above all about the bond between a grandad and his orphaned grandaughter.A unique, excellently shot and inspired debut from a director who will go on to do other great things.

Moon Knight: Summon the Suit

 "She said I needed a suit."

"Yeah, the ceremonial armour from Khonshu's temple, not psycho Colonel Sanders."

This second episode is, like the first, absolutely bloody brilliant.

We learn, alongside Steven, a little more. It seems that Marc is the champion of Khonshun, an Egyptian god of justice who bis kind enough only to punish the guilty after they've committed theit crimes. Arthur Harrow, it seems, is his predecessor but has now turned to serving Ammit, a goddess who kills potential evildoers beforethey commit their crimes. It's an intriguing concept; as Arthur shows Steven, it can lead to a utopia without evil... exzcept for the evil of killing those who are as yet innocent. Including, as Steven points out, children.

We meet Layla, Marc Spector's wife... and she needs quite a while to realise that Steven is not just Marc putting an act. So Marc's wife, whom he seems to be divorcing, has no idea who Steven is. How long, I wonder, has the Steven persona existed?

Steven reacts as well as can be expected to having his consciousness taken over, resisting Marc angrily and consistently until he has no choice. But is Marc a murderer? What will now happen as we shift from London, Cairo?

I'm hooked. I'm REALLY loving this.

Andor: Announcement

 "Watch your back..."

And so we have the aftermath. Luthen got what he wanted: the Empire has been rattled. On the one hand, some are inspired to resistance, such as Maarva. She refuses to leave with Kassian, inspired to work with the Resistance against the Empire.On the other hand, we have a crackdown. Hence Andor returns home briefly home to find Stormtroopers everywhere. And then, as an anonymous rich tourist, he is arrestedand sentenced to six years on trumped up charges.

Such is totalitarianism. And that's the side of the Empire that Andor shows so well. No Jedis. No magical thinking, just the hard moral choices one must face while living under tyranny. Some, like Mon Mothma, try and undermine it from within, but take enormous risks. The stakes are high. 

I see many parallels with Iran today- death to the dictator. Women, life, freedom! And with Russia- may Putin die horribly. Living under tyranny, it iseasy to conform, as Maarva kindly admits to Kassian; she makes no mora judgement. Why rebel if it means your kids will suffer? Such is the harsh reality. Yet brutality begets resistance. And glorious revolution.

I love the secret service intrigue on Coruscant, too, with Dedra this time getting the upper hand. But this is all very much Gestapo on Trantor. And I'm loving this very political approach to the Star Wars universe.

Moon Knight: The Goldfish Problem

 "There's chaos in you..."

Oh my. This is brilliant. And also bloody bonkers.

My era for Marvel comicswas the '80s and early '90s, but I didn't really read any Moon Knight. My only experience of the character was a few issues of West Coast Avengers by Steve Englehart where he was part of an ensemble cast. So I'm pretty much unspoiled and won't get any of the references, for once.

The concept is brilliant. Steven Grant is a harmless, put-upon gift shop employee in the British museum who keeps having blackouts... and goes to extreme lengths, such as restraining his feet, not to go sleepwalking. This last bit, as well as the opening with Arthur Harrow putting broken glass in his shoes(!) is disturbingly kinky.

Ah, Arthur Harrow, disciple of Ammit, who can judge people with his moving tattoo of a pair of scales- and the goddess will kill them if they turn out to be bad... over the whole of their life. Past, present and future. A fascinating concept, and Harrow is a fascinating character. 

This is the perfect opening episode, with ius discovering things alongside Steven, and Ancient Egyptian themes everywhere. We wake up with Stephen in strange places, experiencing the car chases, the confusion, the monster in the museum. We get hints of "Marc"... and then, at the end, we meet him. He looks awesome...

Wow. Just wow.

Andor: The Eye

 "We win, or everyone dies..."

As expected, this episode is full of tension and entirely concerns the heist, which is more or less a success, albeit not without some hairy moments, nor is it without tragedy. The episode is brilliantly shot and extremely exciting, with Andor actually taking something of a backseat until the latter part of the episode. This is very much an ensemble piece.

And there are lots of ensemble case moments. Poor, young, idealistic Nemik dies for the cause. Skeet, so seekingly principled, turns out to be a mere mercenary, far more cynical than a disgusted Kassian, who just shoots him. Vel turns out to be nervous, but reliable when in the swing of things. Taramyn is a former Stormtrooper. This is a well-characterised gang of individuals.

We get the sense of what a big deal this rebel raid is, too. The Empire israttled. Mon Mothma, in the Senate, gets the coldest of shoulders. It's clear that a big crackdown is coming.

And Andor is alone again, off into the galaxy with his share of the loot. I won't pretend I'm a fan of non-stop acion, but this was very well done. Most importantly, it did not neglect the characters. For an episode full of bangs, this was not bad at all.

Hawkeye: So This Is Christmas

 "Is this what heroes do? Arrest their mothers on Christmas?"

It's interesting watching this season finale the day after an everything-but-the-kitchen-sink Doctor Who finale. But Hawkeye was in no way overshadowed.

Much of the episode was a big, fun, set piece Christmas party battle, with trick arrows, owls, LARPers, falling Christmas trees and... the actual bloody Kingpin. Wow. Vincent D'Onofrio is exacrly as superb, in the same way, as we've seen, but in another context. No way does he die. No bodies are seen.

Yet there are so many character moments. Kate is such a hero. Her whole privileged life is based on immoral acts... so she abandons it, in a heartbeat, hard though it is. Because kit's the right thing. Her mother is an unrepentant gamgster and criminal who isn't very good at gaslighting... so she gets her arrested. Hard, so very hard, but the right thing. Also, she's awesome in a fight. And this time more tactical. And Clint is, by now, impressed. So much so that I suspect he sees a successor in her, accepting her as a partner and inviting her to spend Christmas with his family. And she's made very welcome, bless her. 

Kate's confession to Hawkeye about her childhood glimpse of him is cute. And the scene between Clint and Yelenba turns out to be far more heartwarming and less murderous than we might expect. The rapport between Kate and Yelena is awesome too.

And we even get a musical number at the end.

This is really rather good. Not top tier telly, perhaps, but well characterised and acted. I enjoyed the episode and I enjoyed the series.

Doctor Who: The Power of the Doctor

 "We could call this the Master's Dalek plan..."(!)

I love the line above. A nice little fourth wall breaking riff on a story that was televised fifty-six years ago and three quarters of which no longer exists.

Anyway, before I proceed to, yes, praise this epic story by Chris Chibnall (yes, I know), let's just briefly acknowledge that it makes no sense whatsoever. I mean, yes, I can dig the Master getting Daleks and Cybermen to join forces against the Doctor a la The Pandorica Opens... but get them to share ownership of Earth as a foundry for their respective races? Nah. Also, the Doctor is about to regenerate so she effectively tells Yaz to naff off?  That's cold, even though the script tries to pretend it isn't. What happened to their romance? Dan's departure seems forced as well.

And yet... it works. It's entertaining, it made me laugh, it made me cry. It contains everything but the kitchen sink, and the TARDIS full of the Doctor's "extended fam" at the end even outdoes Journey's End. Yet it works, all of the characters get room to breathe without outdoing Jodie on her swansong. Even the glimpses of past Doctors- David Bradley, Peter Davison, Colin Baker, Sylvester McCoy and Paul McGann- are nice bits of fanwank, but kept in proportion.

And there's a lot of fanwank here. The Companions Anonymous meeting at the end is outrageous. I mean... Mel, Jo, bloody IAN CHESTERTON: William Russell will be ninety-eight next month. Yet, emotionally, it works.

Oh, and who's shipping Ace and Graham? Because Chibbers is.

Ace and Tegan are pitch perfect and absolutely joyful to see. With Tegan, she's the mouth on legs we love so much, brave hearted, wonderful, missing Adric. With Ace we have the jacket, the Nitro 999(!), and even the bloody baseball bat. Ace is absolutely herself, middle aged yet absoklutely the same teenager we know and adore so much. And both of them get to meet their Doctors, courtesy of plot necessity. 

Tegan's line to Yaz- "We used to be you, decades back" is

And I can't believe the early scene of the Cybermen being demagnetised into space isn't a nice little reference to The Moonbase. I love Ace's shock that Cybermen are now explicitly no longer vulnerable to gold. It's about time that was cleared up.

Sacha Dhawan is superb as the Master. His performance here- ever gaslighting and playing with our heads- makes him a serious contender to be the best Master ever. Yes, possibly better than Roger Delgado, John Simm, Derek Jacobi, even Michelle Gomez. And it cannot be denied that the Master, as Rasputin, in 1916, playing Boneyb M's "Ra Ra Rasputin" is one of the greatest televisual moments ever. The idea of Rasputin's hold over the Tsar and Tsarina being due to the "I am the Master, you will obey me" thing is genius.

But we end with the regeneration. Which, despite the rather forced departure of Yaz, is very well handled indeed. Jodie Whittaker is superb. She and Yaz get one last date and one last ice cream. It's just a shame they didn't kiss.

And then she does indeed, as rumoured, regenerate into David Tennant. Yet it's clear this is not a degeneration but a new incarnation with an old face. Tennant's dialogue is, of course, predictably amusing, but that's what RTD intended.

This was not without its flaws. It's possible that I may revise my opinion downwards in future; that happens with Chibnall scripts. But this episode was a joy.

We end with a preview for next year. Ncuti Gatwa is in it... and he's playing it Scottish?

The Thing (1982)

 "I'm trying to get some sleep. I was shot today."

Yes, it's absurd that I'm seeing The Thing for the first time in 2022. I suppose I have half an excuse that I saw thiis asa kind of remake of The Thing from Another World, and had to see that first, but even so.

This film is superb, basically. Not because it reinvents the wheel; it doesn't. It's a very straightforward base under siege story, where the entire cast spends the film paranoid, ascanyone could be the unnamed alien creature. The creature looks amazing; Alien has had a definite influence. There's a character called Fuchs. Titter.

But, essentially, this film is as good as it is pretty much entirely because of John Carpenter's first class direction. That's pretty much it. The way he shoots the snow; the way he shoots the shadows. The sheer bloody tension that anybody could be this shape-shifting alien. This gloriously slimy, '80s alien aesthetic that never stops being awesome, and is splendidly pre-CGI.

The film is entirely set, barring a brief expedition to some dead Norwegians and a millennia-old flying saucer, in and around one compound in Antarctica, full of central heating, booze, weed and a computer version of chess that I swear I once played on the Acorn Electron. The ensemble cast makes the film almost as much as the direction, but obviously Kurt Russel deserves special praise. Yes, it's a sausage fest, with no oestrogen to be seen and the Bechdel Test failed spectacularly.

This film doesn't do anything radical. It just does jump scare sci-fi horror really, really, really well.

Andor: The Axe Forgets

 "Who brings a treasure to a robbery?"

This episode is brave and interesting. We finished the last instalment poised to execute a heist... yet we slow down and examine the characters before vthe heist, with Andor being distrusted until he admits he's being paid. The character dynamics are excellent. This is bloody good, a slow burning series that develops its characters.

We further explore the relationship between Mon Mothma and her toxic husband. Syril Karn, at rock bottom and humiliated, is about to be found a new job by his equally poisonous mother. It's clear that he will clash with Kassian again. We learn why Lieutenant Gorn has turned against the Empire- love has made this fundamental everyman realise that he is serving evil. He is like many a colonial soldier. Colonialism is a clear theme.

We have a brief look at the rivalry between them two imperial officers on Coruscant. Yet the meat of the episode consists of Andor experiencing friction with his comrades, and we, along him, get to know them.

This is slow, considered, bloody good telly, and, for Disney Plus stuff based on Star Wars, it's nothing like The Mandalorian. I'm loving it now. I'm confidient I'm about to love it even more.

Hawkeye: Ronin

"Kate, this is not cutlery."

This is a bloody brilliant episode. Yes, there are revelations upon revelations, but after last episode we see Kate deflated at Clint's rejection of her, until she's ultimately determined to, er, reject his rejection, and he ends up saving Clint, as Ronin, from Maya, genuinely saving him. She even has her escape route planned. Nice one.

And Clint seems to accept her. He's very much worried, though, hinting that the Tracksuit Mafia is much bigger than Maya, that there is a "Big Man" behind the scenes, gunning not only for him but also for his family. Yet he has revelations for Maya, too, about who killed her father...

Families are very uncertain here. We learn that Yelena died when Thanos snapped his fingers, only to instantaneously return after five years, her sister dead and very much blaming Clint... why? Her conversation with Kate is delightful. Florence Pugh and of course Hailee Steinfeld both excel. Yet we also have a final bombshell... Kate's mother seems to be the one who hired Yelena. Well then. And it seems her boss is... Kingpin.

Yes: Kingpin. As in Daredevil. As in the Netflix shows now appear to be canon...

Andor: Aldhani

 "To put a real stick into the eye of the empire... and get paid for it."

And all has changed. The preamble is over. Sybil Kane- who will be back- and his gang of pathetic corporate toy soldiers are all sacked, while Kassian and Luthen are off into lightspeed. There's a nice early ideological exchange between them- the grizzled idealist versus the bitter, burned cynic- but Andor agrees to take on this desperate mission, a heist, with Vel and her gang of deserate desperados, whom we will no doubt get to know over the coming episodes.

We also get a good look at Coruscant, presented here as a kind of cross between Trantor and Nazi Berlin. We see Anton Lesser, charismatic as ever, as a kind of cynical yet efficient Gestapo chief, with two underlings jostling for power under him. We shall see more of them.

We also meet our old friend Mon Mothma, a young senator involved with rebel circles... and her politically cynical husband. It's like a Guardian reader having to be married to bloody Suella Braverman. A woman far more evil than the Emperor himself.

Tbhis is bloody good. Andor's slow start was the foundation. Right now this is pretty much perfect.

Inside Man: Episode 4

 "How does anyone ever get murdered? There's so much admin!"

There so much about this episode that's great. The above line and, indeed, most of Mary's dialogue, which straddles that line between humour and horror. The way a random woman gingerly steps over the trail of blood after Mary is run over. Mary's desperate and almost comical confrontation with Beth. Poor Ben, Harry becoming increasingly unhinged. Grieff's slow acceptance of his fate. That surprising coda with Janice asking Grieff to help her to murder her husband.

But, surprisingly, we aren't told why Grieff killed his wife. Sequel hunting, or a statement that some things are unknowable, as Grieff tells Harry his usual monologue about how all of us, given sufficient desperation, are potential murderers? Probably the latter., as Grieff is, by his own admission, somewhat pressed for time.

This is a satisfying, entertaining finale, with exquisite performances from, in particular, Lyndsey Marshal, Stanley Tucci and David Tennant. Most of all, it's satisfying, in this final episode, to see how Steven Moffat can write himself seemingly into a corner and then seamlessly out of it. Good stuff.

Better Call Saul: Hero

 "Human slavery. So..."

Mrs Kettleman, you are David Brent and I hereby claim my £100.

This is another intriguing and transitional episode. We begin, appropriately, with a highly entertaining flashback with Slippy Jimmy and a mate participating in a con. And then, in the present day, in direct contrast to the Kettlemans' incredible stupidity- as Jimmy moans about to the ever-impassive Mike- Jimmy pulls off an intricate scheme to get at Howard Hamlin while significantly drumming up business. Not a bads day's work. And another very clever episode. It's a real joy to see Jimmy's schemes play out and to try and work out what he's up to.

Chuck finds out, though. Oops. It's an extraordinarily well-directed scene as he puts on his foil and ventures outdoors. I'm sure we will soon find out precisely what the problem is, and more of Chuck's backstory.

Most of all, though, I have to praise Bob Odenkirk. He's always been grear as Jimmy/Saul, but the character has become much more nuanced for his own show, and Odenkirk carries this with real aplomb. Better Call Saul is already easily as good as Breaking Bad.

The Lords of the Rings- The Rings of Power: Alloyed

 "He is not Sauron! He is the other! He is the Istatr!

Where to begin? This first series has struggled at times. Yet, having seen the whole design, IU'm full of admiration for its construction. The number of huge moments in this finale was staggering- not least the singing of "one Ring to Rule Them All" during the closing credits. 

It must be said, before we get excited about the revelations, that the episode is extraordinarily well directed by Wayne Yip, in every way fit for a finale.

We begin, cleverly, with a nice bit of misdirection: those three evil women from last episode hail the Stranger as Sauron and, well, that's that. Nori and the other Harfoots who went after him are doomed. He is the Dark Lord.

Except... he isn't. He's a wizard, it's explicitly stated. I'm guessing Saruman. And he saves the Harfoots, except poor Sadoc.And we end with Nori accompanying him on a quest for next season.

And then we have a bigger shock. I suspected Halbrand may not actually be the King of the Southlands... but he's Sauron! I had not a clue. This is very, very clever.

We also have what looks like the ruin of Numenor. The Queen and Elendil pledging to go on to the end. And, of course, the triumphant forging- visually brilliant- of the first three rings by Celebrimbor. This will save the elves in Middle Earth.

Yet it was Sauron who made the suggestions that made this happens. Sauron who now rules in Mordor. In the land of Mordor, where the shadows lie.

The Imitation Game (2014)

 "You just defeated Nazism with a crossword puzzle..."

I've been waiting to see this film for years. It's very good: Alan Turing deserved a biopic, amd he needed to wait until an age where homophobia, if not cured, is at least disapproved of by the law. If only we could say the same of transphobia.

Benedict Cumberbatch is extraordinary. Keira Knighlley is good. Allen Leach is subtly superb as John Cairncross, a Soviet spy and one of the Cambridge Five. Bloody traitor, and blackmailer to boot. His development is very clever indeed. Mark Strong is perfect casting as Stewart Menzies, or C.

This ois a fairly standard film, not brilliant by any means, The script and plot are pedestrian. Yet the themes are huge: the appaling treatment, of gay men in the '40s and '50s; the fat that those who persecuted this war hero were traitors; and, most clearly, autism.

Turing's life was tragic. Deeply so. Cumberbatch shows this so well. Yet his genius shines through here, with allusions to the Turing Test. And, as important as the injustice dine to this British hero because of his sexuality may be, he is portrayed here quite explicitly as autistic. And that may well describe the man. But we should not assume either way. Whether autistic or living with metaphor-loving allistic behaviour like myself, we all owe a huge debt to the real Alan Turing. For our computing, and for our freedom. 

The film is... ok. But Cumberbatch is superb.

Hawkeye: Partners, Am I Right?

 "If I ever met Huey Lewis, I'd be a wreck."

Hawkeye is not, perhaps, the best Disney Marvel series yet, but it's pretty solid. This is, of course, the episode where Clint and Kate really, really click- the movie marathon, reminiscencing and planning scene are wonderful- and so it's inevitable that he should angrily drive her away at the start. There's a harbinger of this in thev awkward scenes at the Bishop residence, as Kate's mum warns Clint not to make her lose her daughter.

And then we have Clint admitting to Kate how much he misses Natasha, So, when it turns out that not only are the Tracksuit Mafia taking notes on his family but suddenly a Black Widow assassin turns up... and it's Yelena. Ouch. No wonder Clint reacts like he did.

Kate is awesome though, charismatic yet vulnerable, and clever enough to work out who Ronin really was. And it's confirmed, as if there was any doubt, that Jack is a baddie.

This is very good. Not great, but very good.

Andor: Reckoning

 "What have you done?"

The series is hotting up now, with this episode beting the finest so far. Syril Karn, Sergeant Mosk and their other soldiers arrive on the planet, and Cassian's future looks bleak as his home is ransacked, his adoptive family threatened, and poor Bix loses her lover, despite realising earlier that it was Timm who sold out Andor.

The episode is crammed with both tension and action. We can almost smell Andor's desperation. Meanwhile, the dynamic between Mosk- the person really in charge- and Karn, a young officer deeply out of his depth and ultimately humiliated, is extremely well done.

 So is the meeting between Kassian and the mysterious yet charismatic Luthen- Stellan Skarsgard is superb- as it becomes cleare that Luthen wants not merely Andor's goods but Andor himself; his talents for sneaking about have not gone unrecognised.

It's a;so a nice touch, in the flashback scenes, to see how Cassian came to be adopted by the Andors, and their departure by starship is paralleled in the present day.

This, I suspect, is where the prologue ends...

Inside Man: Episode 3

 "Much be so much easier."

"What must?"

"Not believing in Hell."

This is the hardest decision I've had to make for a quote for ages. That says a lot. 

There's a lot of quotable, philosophical dialogue here. But it all emerges from the characters. Harry's police interview is so very cringe. But it exposes Harry. He's a bad man, and a good man. He acted with dselfish desperation towards Edgar, and did not, as he tried to claim, protect him. Yet Edgar watched, and thus funds, child porn. And, let's face it, that suicide note wasa spiteful act of vindictiveness aimed, unknowingly yet culpably, at an innocent teenage boy.

Beth is interrogated, too, on the ethics of her trade as a voyeuristically morbid crime journalist by hardened criminal Morag- who adopts the moral high ground. And Grieff, faced with an actual execution date, reacts not with dignity but with an unexpected desperation. He wants to live, after all. And, despite the fact he mutilated his wife's corpse, apparently the retrieval of her head will explain things. Hmm.

This is building up for a huge finale, with Janice's very justifuable mind games and the horrifying cliffhanger, with Ben locked in the cellar with Janice as the carbon monoxide slowly kills them... and it was Harry who did this, so his wife would not. Because he loves hisfamily so much that he would take their place in Hell. That he would actually download child porn- an evl act in itself, funding more child abuse- to save his son.

This is deep, clever, fascinating. And memory sticks are indestructible, right?

The Lord of the Rings- The Rings of Power: The Eye

 "We move at first light."

"What light?"

After last week's triumphant victory, all is lost after an unnatiral volcano which sees Adar and his Orcs claiming the Southlands for themselves, reneming it, inevitably, as Mordor.

And all is entropy and decay. The Queen of Numenor is blinded. Elendil has lost his favourite son, and Isildur his brother. He is bitter and wants no more to do with Middle-Earth. The Dwarven king refuses to dig for Mithril and save the elves, and proudly disinherits his son after a row. The Harfoots are ruined and have sent away the Stranger, who briefly gave new life to their forest before three evil cloaked woman arrive and destroy everything... who are they?

Yet, in the land of Mordor, there is yet hope. Durin plots with his lovely wife. The throne will be his. The Numenoreans will return. The enemies of Sauron have lost, if not the battle, the context. Yet there is time and space to regroup. The war goes on. Again, this is very mythical, very Tolkien.

This episode is not quite so exciting as last week's, but after some shaky early episode the first season seems to have found its stride. The directing is enormously impressive especially the early scenes, which feel like a very orange disaster movie.