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Thursday, 31 January 2019

The Gifted- Season 1, Episode 7: eXtreme measures

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"All he ever believed in was Magnet Girl..." A lot of different threads are unfolding- it must be mid-season- in an episode that...
Sunday, 27 January 2019

The Punisher: War Zone (2008)

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"Who punishes you?" The first Punisher film was, well, a load of late '80s tat with Dolph Lundgren, but fun for that very ...
Wednesday, 23 January 2019

Inhumans: Behold... the Inhumans

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“This is why nobody invites you to do their birthday toasts...” I’m told the critics didn’t like this, but Mrs Llamastrangler certainly di...
Sunday, 20 January 2019

Friday the 13th: The Final Chapter (1984)

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"What happens if a psycho wanders in?" Sigh. That was boring . It may have had a slightly more famous cast than usual, with Co...
Saturday, 19 January 2019

Pet Semetary II (1992)

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"You bury your own." This film is supposed to be awful. It is, or so I e found, perfectly adequate as a serviceable sequel to ...
Friday, 18 January 2019

Avengers: Infinity War (2018)

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“There’s an Ant-Man and a Spider-Man?” At last I can stop dodging spoilers. I’ve seen it, at last. And it was bloody good. SPOILERS, mi...
Monday, 14 January 2019

The Gifted- Season 1,Episode 6: got your siX

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" Nothing says father-son bonding like breaking into a federal building." Six episodes in and the subplots are all interacting n...
Sunday, 13 January 2019

The Three Musketeers (1973)

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“You cannot go to the Queen with dirty legs...” I hadn’t seen this before, amazingly, so I certainly raised an eyebrow when the opening ...
Saturday, 12 January 2019

First Blood (1982)

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"We ain't hunting him- he's hunting us!" Appallingly, I'd never seen this '80s action classic until now. First...
Tuesday, 8 January 2019

The Gifted- Season 1, Episode 5: boXed in

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“This is the best terrible meal that I’ve ever had!” This is just as gripping as the last episode as The Gifted slowly burrows its way i...
Monday, 7 January 2019

The Dead Room

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"When were you born?” “1990.” “Christ!” This is an admittedly cheap but well cast attempt in BBC Four where Mark Gatiss (naturall...
Sunday, 6 January 2019

Spider-Man 3 (2007)

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“Where do all these guys come from?” The critics didn’t like this film; I went in knowing that. So I’m left wondering what parts low exp...
Saturday, 5 January 2019

The Greatest Showman (2017)

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"They're laughing anyway, kid. So might as well get paid." This is notorious, of course, for being the film that critics u...
Friday, 4 January 2019

The Ash Tree

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“Cut it down!” An obscure little gem, this; a thirty minute BBC drama from 1975 and the first of the legendary screenplays based on the gh...
Tuesday, 1 January 2019

Doctor Who: Resolution

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“I always think I’m rid of them. I never am.” This episode was written by Chris Chibnall. It is genuinely superb. Those two sentences don’...
Sunday, 30 December 2018

Black Panther (2018)

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“It's hard for a good man to be king." This is a hard film to review objectively. It's clearly a significant cultural artif...
Saturday, 29 December 2018

Scrooge (1951)

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"Humbug!" Mrs Llamastrangler suggested that, as Gremlins counts as a Christmas film only on a technicality, I ought to do one...
2 comments:
Friday, 28 December 2018

Sherlock Holmes and the Deadly Necklace (1962)

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"I have only one ambition at the moment: to see you hanged." Christopher Lee playing Sherlock Holmes; sounds fantastic, doesn...
Thursday, 27 December 2018

Rogue One: A Star Wars Story (2016)

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"I've got a bad feeling about..." "Quiet!" "What...?" I really am a long way behind on the Star W...
Friday, 21 December 2018

The Gifted- Season 1, Episode 4: eXit strategy

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"Call me Polaris. You're sending me to Hell; I think it's the least you can do." So this introductory arc is over as thi...
Wednesday, 19 December 2018

The Gifted- Season 1, Episode 3: eXodus

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“And you can shove that deal up your ass!” I know it’s been a while since I blogged the first two episodes of this season; suffice to say ...
Monday, 17 December 2018

Legion: Chapter 8

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"Are you threatening the entire human race? Do I have that right?" This season finale feels different, perhaps; relatively funct...
Sunday, 16 December 2018

Gremlins (1984)

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“Now I have another reason to hate Christmas!" I’m 41 and I’d never seen this film until now. Yes, I know. And, er, I still haven’t...
Saturday, 15 December 2018

Batman & Robin (1997)

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"This is why Superman works alone!” Oh dear. What an absolutely terrible film. Incoherent, full of meaningless bangs and explosions...
Friday, 14 December 2018

Legion: Chapter 7

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"On the chest of a barmaid in Sale Were tattooed all the prices of ale And on her behind For the sake of the blind Was the same inf...
Tuesday, 11 December 2018

Legion: Chapter 6

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“Deja vu, but not?" Legion is already pretty damn experimental and avant-garde for prime time network telly, but this is a specifica...
Monday, 10 December 2018

Dr. Terror’s House of Horrors (1965)

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“An unfortunate misnomer for I am the mildest of men...” This is the first of the Amicus portmanteau horror films from Freddie Francis and...
Sunday, 9 December 2018

Doctor Who: The Battle of Ranskoor Av Kolos

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“Don’t aliens ever bother with doors?” Sigh. That was a season finale? It’s the moment of truth; the season has fully unfolded in all o...

Fifty Shades Freed (2018)

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"So why do you defy me?" "Because I can!"  This is only the second film I've seen that was made in 2018. Right...
Tuesday, 4 December 2018

Legion: Chapter 5

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“You know, they say the brain is the largest erogenous zone.” More glorious conceptual weirdness this week, but as ever you have to pay at...
Sunday, 2 December 2018

Doctor Who: It Takes You Away

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“I see the sheep have moved on. Probably off plotting.” You know how I’ve spend the whole of the season so far whingeing that yes, many ep...
Saturday, 1 December 2018

Beavis and Butt-Head Do America (1996)

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 "Are you threatening me? My bumhole will not wait!"  I last saw this in, well, the '90s. On a VHS videotape that was my p...
Monday, 26 November 2018

Doctor Who: The Witchfinders

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“ If I was still a bloke, I could get on with the job and not have to waste time defending myself!" A very good episode but, par for ...
Sunday, 25 November 2018

Batman Forever (1995)

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“It's the car, right? Chicks love it."  Incredibly, I've never seen this until now, after 23 years.After the two gritty Tim...
Saturday, 24 November 2018

Pet Semetary (1989)

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"Sometimes dead is better." Another Stephen King film, then, and one in which he gets a cameo as a vicar... and I still haven’...
Wednesday, 21 November 2018

Legion: Chapter 4

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"I was a woman who couldn't be touched, in love with a man who wasn't there." Legion just gets weirder and weirder; amon...
Tuesday, 20 November 2018

Legion: Chapter 3

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“Could you maybe not break everything this time?” Before I get to the final series of Angel it’s about time I finished something I starte...
Sunday, 18 November 2018

Doctor Who: Kerblam!

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"Have you smelt her?" "Oddly enough, I haven't..." Terrible title and, I was confidently expecting from the prev...

Damien: Omen II (1978)

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"Damien Thorn is the Antichrist!" It's been quite a while since I saw The Omen , but it lingers in the mind somewhat, main...
Saturday, 17 November 2018

Doomsday (2008)

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“In the land of the infected, the immune man is king."  This s easily the greatest Scottish post-apocalyptic Mad Max movie with me...
Thursday, 15 November 2018

Dark Season: Episodes 5 and 6

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Episode Five "A ventilation shaft. Marvellous. I’m a cliche.” The middle episode, and we discover that Pendragon is digging not fo...