What If... the Hulk Fought the Mech Avengers?

 "Of course, issues left unresolved rarely stay buried for long."

One episode a day over the Christmas period, is it? With Mark Gatiss dropping a new Ghost Story for Christmas tomorrow and Doctor Who the day after? I'm so going to fall behind with this...

It's a fun way to start, though. Mechs and "Gamma Beasts" that owe a lot to Japanese tropes that I suspect I'd understand more if I was more deeply into Manga and the like as opposed to just the retro Godzilla films and of course Transformers with its Japanese roots. But we all know what mechs are and this is a fun take on the tropes from the MCU, exactly the sort of thing that What If? should be doing. I rather enjoyed this.

And yes, there's a very obvious subtext- the whole thing is a giant metaphor, a macrocosm, for what's going on inside Bruce Banner's head.

But there's something else going on too, I think. I've long seen the constant talk of the MCU's decline as overblown, but that's not to say there's nothing to the criticisms. Individual films and series have usually been good, but there's no denying that there's less of a feelof a cohesive gang of heroes as used to be the case, with the MCU spread much more thinly.

So is this episode trying to push a viable team of new "main" protagonists, including Sam Wilson's Cap, Monica Rambeau, Shang-Chi, Bucky and Moon Knight? If so, this could be interesting...

The Marvels (2023)

 "Do you just add the word 'quantum' before everything?"

I don't usually watch films at the cinema because it's a faff finding a showing with subtitles... but I made an exception today, for this film. There seems to be a massive wave of negativity around The Marvels, not for any reason to do with its content, but because certain pathetic incels and male supremacist far right wankers are having a bit of a mardy. So I went to see it during the opening weekend just to throw my two fingers up at said little boys.

And you know what? I LOVED it. And not only because I'm a cat lover. Brie Larson, Teyonah Parris and especially Iman Vellani are superb, giving us a likeable and charismatic super team. Crucially, the writing is superb absolutely in the Marvel tradition, balancing humour, humanity and cinematic action.

Spoilers, in case it needs saying.

Zawe Ashton is also great as Dar-Benn, a typical Marvel baddie. Yet there's real heart behind the theatrics. We learn that Carol caused Hala to start to die as an eventual result of killing the Supreme Intelligence, and the reason she didn't come back to see Monica was, essentially, shame. Kamala Khan is the perfect Spider-Man type teenage superhero, and her relationship with her family is utterly wonderful. Then there's Nick Fury, and the fact that it's cats who essentially save everyone by eating them with tentacles. And yes, that's a sentence I rather enjoyed writing. Then we have all the little Marvel details- Quasar's Quantum Band; quantum entanglement, like Mar-Vell and Rick Jones in the comics; lots of harking back to Ms Marvel and WandaVision.

The end is quite something, with Monica (my generation's Captain Marvel!) stuck in a different reality after fixing a hole in the multiversal fabric. She's in the X-Mansion! We see Kelsey Grammer as the Beast! "Charles" is mentioned. And... her alternate mother is there, this reality's Captain Marvel, except this time in Carol's old comics guise of Binary. This is awesome. And that's before we even consider the fact that Kamala, echoing Nick Fury, is going around assembling a team of young superheroes, starting with Kate Bishop. 

This is good, proper, old-fashioned MCU fun, just solid superhero storytelling. This is one of the finest MCU films in recent years, right up there with the best.

WandaVision: The Series Finale

 "Your power exceeds that of the Sorcerer Supreme. It is your destiny to destroy the world."

Now that's how you do a series finale. Satisfying, action-packed, eventful, and full of several little geeky Easter Eggs.

The main A plot is, of course, the battle between Wanda and Agatha, which is epic, cool and full of revelations. The Darkhold makes its MCU debut, and Agatha claims that the Scarlet Witch has her own chapter... and gives the above quote. Ominoud. As is the fact that we end up with a maturer Wanda, having accepted what she's done and the people she's hurt (the scene where the citizens of Westview literally beg Wanda is both powerful and necessary), flying away to explore the full extent of her magical nature. Agatha's fate is an act of almost fairytale cruelty, forced to live indefinitely as her sitcom character.

Then there's the white Vision. Those of us who remember John Byrne's run on West Coast Avengers at the end of the '80s are well aware we need to be alarmed. But in the end we get a fight between Visions which is both cool and satisfyingly resolved.

It's a busy episode, perhaps. Darcy skewers naughty old Hayward but that brief moment is pretty much all that we see of her. Woo gets to look cool in the end, and Monica (still not Captain Marvel- yet) gets a nice little post-credits sequence with a Skrull. But it is, in the MCU way, perfectly balanced between story beats, action and character. 

It's true that Wanda (and Vizh) seem to get over the twins not being real a little too easily. But overall this is a superb ending to a magnificent series.

WandaVision: Breaking the Fourth Wall

 "Agatha all along..."

This episode, like all the rest, is enormous fun. This time the sitcom fun comes from The Office-type mock documentary comedy, which fits perfectly with the theme of a depressed Wanda as her reality seems to fall apart- with even Billy and Tommy seeing, worryingly, to have disappeared by the end.

Meanwhile there's fun with clown Vizh and escape artist Darcy at the circus, followed by his feeding him much-needed exposition as Wanda's subconscious seems to delay them. The two of them make a great double act.

But the real hero- and in some ways the real star- is Monica, who heroically manages to fight her way into Westview once again, and it's hinted that she may have gained her Captain Marvel superpowers along the way. Her confrontation with Wanda is magnificent, and would have been the highlight of the episode... were it not for the revelation of Agnes as being Agatha Harkness, and that she has been the baddie all along... as attested by her awesome theme song.

Fourth wall... who needs it? I'm loving this.

WandaVision: All-New Halloween Spooktacular

 "Don't go past Ellis Avenue!"

It's clear by now that this is a phenomenal series, based around a superb central concept and oozing all the dramatic goodness out of each angle week by week so that each episode is better than the last. But never mind that: it's Halloween, so Vizh, Wanda and Pietro, for one week only, get to dress up in their proper costumes as Vizh, the Scarlet Witch and Quicksilver. Hooray!

Also, Pietro is quickly becoming my favourite laddish waster in television, in a very Nick Frost version of the character. And, if Tommy has his powers, does this mean Billy will be casting hexes?

But the plot continues to move in fascinating ways. Vizh has noticed that, in the fringes of town, people are ill-defined and can move less and less- and he sees one poor woman repetitiely performing the same action, Sisyphus-like, as a tear rolls down her cheek. It's a poignant contrast to Pietro's bro-like approval of his sister's handiwork in their heart to heart. And Vizh is spurred on to escape, especially as he comes across Agnes as, in a scene to give one the shivers, he frees her mind as he dis last episode with Norm- to be told that he's an Avenger, he's dead, and "No one leaves. Wanda won't even let us think about it."

Meanwhile, outside the literal Westview bubble, Director Hayward is proving to be such a dick that Monica, Jimmy Woo and Darcy are forced to leave and start their own gang- following which, interestingly, Darcy tells Monica that going through the barrier twice has altered her molecular chemistry. Please tell me she's going to get her Captain Marvel superpowers?

But the end is magnificent, as the Vision attempts to escape the bubbe despite the fact it means his death- of course, he explicitly said he never wanted to be resurrected in the first place. But Wanda expands the bubble to grab all of SWORD and turn them into a circus (ha!)- including a handcuffed Darcy, but not Monica, Jimmy or a Hayward who flees like a rat. Wow. I'm loving this.

WandaVision: On a Very Special Episode...

 "Just make her stop!"

Just when it seems WandaVision has peaked, it becomes clear it hasn't. After last episode departed from the format to give us an explanation, sort of, we now get another sitcom episode (it's the late '80s, with yet another theme tune), but with scenes of Monica, Darcy and Agent Woo outside of Westview. And, interestingly, the Vision is starting to notice the flimsiness of the fourth wall.

Outside of Westview we are gratdually seeing how Monica and Darcy make an awesome double act, and that Hayward may well just be a bit of a dick. But inside Westview the twins are growing up fast, and Vizh is beginning to notice things like the lack of other kids in Westview , how Agnes always seems to turn up with a solution at odd moments, how inconsistently time passes- and that the neighbours are all brainwashed, and suffering. We begin to see a rift developing between the supposed spouses. It feels like a pivotal episode, and it's utterly riveting.

And that's before we get to the final scene: Pietro is alive and well, and back! And they've recast him... with Evan Peters, who played the character in the X-Men movies. It's the perfect type of fourth wall-breaking way to cross over. This is simply inspired.

WandaVision: We Interrupt This Programme

"So you're saying the universe created a sitcom starring two Avengers?" 

Wow. Three episodes of teasingly and ingeniously bizarre fourth wall shattering weirdness made bloody good telly regardless, but it feels like such a satisfying rush to get so much of an explanation as to what's going on.

The first reveal is that Geraldine is in fact Monica Rambeau, complete with a couple of audio clips from Captain Marvel! Captain Monica Rambeau, no less, to remind us that (to my generation at least, it is she- not Carol Danvers, not Mar-Vell, not Billy Batson- is the real Captain Marvel. But here she is, in flashback, in Endgame, jus after Bruce Banner clicked his big green fingers into a world where five years have passed and her lovely mother Maria died five years ago.

Ever curiouser, Monica is sent on a mission to the New Jersey town of... Westview. And the town seems to have been erased from local memory, while there's a barrier around this mysterious town. This is wonderful stuff. And then we see Monica get inside, as a team of boffins (led by the rather awesome Darcy from the Thor films, a nicely female twist on the maverick scientist trope) discover the sitcom being broadcast... and so they see the three episodes we've already seen. And it's very clever indeed how different certain things look in context.

As Monica says at the ens, "It's Wanda". And Wanda, with her scarily powerful hexes, has everything under control. This is simply amazing.

WandaVision: Now in Colour

 "Think you may have taken the hedge trimming too far there, old buddy!"

This is, on the one level, yet another episode of a retro comedy that is yet another deconstruction of an old-fashioned sitcom staple- in this case the pregnancy episode. Suddenly, while no one has aged and the supporting characters are the same people we're slowly getting to know, it's the '70s now- and a particularly exaggerated '70s where Geraldine has Pam Grier hair and the opening titles have gone all hilariously Brady Bunch.

And it works well, as comedy, on multiple levels. Yet the pretence that reality is slipping. There's a moment where Vision starts to work out the plot holes in his life so Wanda just rewinds things; this entire reality is clearly all here as wish fulfilment for her on some level.

And it is this that casts a disturbing light on Wanda's pregnancy and the birth of Billy and Tommy. I can't comment on any similarities with that '80s The Vision and the Scarlet Witch limited series (Bill Mantlo?), but I certainly remember what John Byrne would later do to the twins in the pages of West Coast Avengers. I fear for Wanda. Especially with what she seems to do to Geraldine (through a wormhole into what may be reality) when she blurts out that Wanda's brother Pietro was killed by Ultron.

I have thoughts about what may be going on. This is all a bit Life on Mars, but I suspect the resolution wont be simple. This is bloody good telly.

WandaVision: Don't Touch That Dial

 "Are you using your night vision, Vision?"

For a second wek in a row we get a genuinely funny piece of retro comedy... bt it's becoming more obvious that none of this is actually reality, and that it may represent a world that Wanda has retreated into in order to avoid an unpleasant reality.

The comedy is similar to last time, and represents more of '50s suburbia, and we're introduced to more of Wanda and Vizh's neighbours as they try to fit in. The comedy is great, with a stage magic act going all Tommy Cooper in entertaining fashion. Emma Caulfield from Buffy has a great part, too.

And yet... things from the real world are blending in. For the second episode in a week we get a mock advert- this time not Stark Industries but Strucker. And there's a scary moment at the end where the menacing noises from the start seem to be caused by a bloke in a hazmat suit emerging from a manhole... until Wanda seems to panic and alter reality. Hmm.

And Wanda is, impossibly, pregnant. Tommy and Billy, from that '80s Bill Mantlo limited series? Leading potentially to... well, what John Byrne went on to do in West Coast Avengers?

Regardless, this is magnificently original, brave and superb telly.