Hulk (2003)

 “Puny human!”

This is, incredibly, the first ever Hulk film... and it’s utterly, irredeemably awful. It’s a shame: the film is well-directed by Ang Lee with some nice visual touches. But it’s essentially a very, very, well-polished turd.

Part of why it's awful is the poor performance of Eric Bana as Bruce and Jennifer Connelly as Betty. Neither of them are exactly favourite actors of mine; they bring a touch of plywood to this as they do to most of what they do. Admittedly Sam Elliott does a good job with a badly written Thunderbolt Ross, while Nick Nolte is genuinely excellent as Bruce's dad, who also doubles as the Abomination.

But what truly dooms this film is the script, which completely fails to get what makes the Hulk interesting, as well as failing to give the characters and humanity or to give us decent dialogue; some of the lines are cringeworthy indeed. The whole concept is misconceived, drawing on the retconning of Bruce's childhood in the comics of the '80s and '90s under John Byrne and (much better) Peter David, beginning with his father's experiments with gamma radiation in the '60s and dealing with repressed childhood memories. Yet there's a reason this was a retcon; you need to start by just doing the gamma ray explosion and the fun Jekyll and Hyde "Hulk smash" stuff that the Hulk is about. All this childhood stuff needs us to know Bruce/Hulk first so we can start to explore the psyche behind those repressed memories- and make a link between the Hulk's rage and childhood abuse that the film doesn't really make.

Bruce and Betty have no real chemistry or, indeed, personalities, and Betty seems to be there mainly to act as the Faye Wray to the Hulk's King Kong. This may be a film with lots of genuinely cool action set pieces but it has no charm, no characters and is just dull, dull, dull.

A Star Is Born (2018)

"Will you sign my boobs?"

Oh my. It's romantic comedy starring Lady Gaga and Rocket raccoon. And it's actually rather good.

Before I say much... yes, I know I have a policy of not blogging remakes before originals, but this isn't a genre I follow more than casually, so I'll make an exception here. I may eventually blog the 1937 original, I may not; I have no idea. The musicals are unlikely but, again, who knows. Suffice to say I'm aware this is a remake, and previous versions have focused on movie stardom rather than music aside from the one with Kris Kristofferson, whose acting I like but whose music I cannot stand.

Suffice to say, it works. Cooper- I understand the whole thing is his vision- is extraordinary, jarring though it is to see a man but two years older than me playing a man in personal and career decline; and lady Gaga can really, really act- and she can sing, of course, and is a rather talented individual who could achieve remarkable things if only she gets the courage to utterly disown the evil, satanic world of chart pop.

I like that this is a romance between real soulmates united by a mutual love of the songwriting process- the downtrodden dreamer Ally and Jack, the kind of country music megastar who feels perfectly comfortable surrounded by drag artists in a gay bar. Our lovers have real chemistry and their relationship seems to evolve naturally. And I like the way the world of chart pop is shown to be as evil as it is, ruining artists with autotuned stupidity and trying to control their image.Rez, as our Simon Cowell-esque evil, uncultured svengali, is the villain of the piece, going sadly uncultured. And Jack's final suicide is at once tastefully shot and utterly devastating.  A rather good film.

Ghost Rider (2007)

"Mooooo!"

I hadn't seen this film until last night hit my expectations we’re not high. The film doesn’t seem to be well-regraded, Nicolas Cage is certainly a very Marmite actor, and Mark Steven Johnson was personally responsible for the crime against cinema that was Daredevil. Having seen it, though, I can’t see much wrong with it and enjoyed it a lot. It’s not up there with the very best but is a perfectly good film.

I suppose the DVD cover didn’t help matters- the quote used praised the film for its special effects, which usually indicates a well-polished turd. Yet the effects are indeed superb here- Ghost Rider looks amazing and the transformation scenes are extraordinary- but the stench of faecal matter is very much absent. There’s a solid script, for a start, making Johnny a sympathetic and well-rounded character and achieving that surprisingly rare trick of making an origin story entertaining. It’s broadly faithful to the comic books, although there’s no mention of Zarathos.

One place they can’t, and shouldn’t be faithful, of course, is with the character of Mephisto, a strange Marvel sort-of-the-Devil-but-not-quite character. For cinematic purposes he has to be treated as a more traditional devil type, and Peter Fonda is magnificent. It’s also a good idea to use Blackheart as the main villain, plot-wise at least. But perhaps stealing the limelight is the splendid Sam Elliott as Carter Oage, the Ghost Rider of the old West who gets one last ride.

This is a satisfying way to spend 100 minutes, a hugely entertaining film. I genuinely don’t understand the hate. Yes, Nic Cage is, er, Nic Cage, And his acting style is certainly unorthodox. But surely he’s perfectly appropriate here...? Received wisdom can be weird.