The World Is Not Enough (1999)

 "There's no point in living of you can't feel alive."

This is the finest Brosnan Bond film so far. I was unimpressed with GoldenEye; Tomorrow Never Dies was better; this is a superb film that channels the best of Bond.

It's all very late '90s, of course. Q is about to retire, and his replacement, the fittingly amusing R, played by a sprighly John Cleese, a mrere sixty years old, describes the latest Bond supercar as having "six cupholders". Amongst the globetrotting to Bilbao, Azerbaijan, Kazakhstan and Istanbul is a superb set piece boat chase through London, including the Millennium Dome. And, of course, Miss Moneyponey says of a cigar that "I know exactly where to put that."

There's only one decade where that line makes sense.Still, let us note tht Bill Clinton was an abusive wanker, and Kenneth Starr was the same by proxy. May they both suffer lifelong impotence.

There's an innocence to this world pf post Cold War, End of History hubris, where there are no significant hostile countries and where threats of tyranny or nuclear armageddon, that feels charmingly dated. Yet the whole dynamic of Bomd and Elektra offers a surprisingly thoughtful take on sex and to wthe extent it can involve deceiving and using people.  

All this, and we have some splendid set pieces, a supern Bond villain in Robert Carlyle, a nice bit of misdirection where we think Elektra is the Bond girl but she turns out to be the big baddie, and one of the best theme tunes ever. This is, quetly, one of the very best Bonds.

Once Upon a Time: Season 1, Episode 4- The Price of Gold

 "All magic comes at a price!"

Once again we get a very nice little deconstruction, this time of Cinderella. Once more we start in the fairytale world and events play out as we expect... except that Cindy's Fairy Godmother is killed and replaced by Rumpeltilskin, who extracts a price. And that price is Cindy's firstborn. Oh dear.

In Storybrooke, meanwhile, our Cinderella is a single pregnant teenager who, as we’re told with not a lot of subtlety, very much echoes Emma at her age- but decides to keep the baby. Interestingly, the baby’s father steps up at the end but is heavily encouraged to dodge his fatherly duties by his own dishonourable prick of an arrogant father.

Modern day, teenage pregnancy, boyfriend father a dishonourable dick. Henry connecting with Emma.  Seeming negotiated victory- but Emma owes Gold a favour. We know this will haunt her.

The structure of this episode is awfully clever, in both realities and how they echo one another. Cinderella’s attempt to magically trick Rumpel out of her firstborn by imprisoning him leads to the disappearance of her himbo husband and the end of her happiness. This makes us fear for Emma. There will, I know, be more to this.

All this, and Emma continues to bond with Henry. And the plot thickens- Emma is offered a police job by the sheriff, and eventually takes it... only for the final revelation that Regina is having Saturday sexy shenanigans with said lawman. Well then.

Again- nice plot, nice metatextual subtext, nice acting, nice realisation although inevitably with a bit of dodgy CGI... but the dialogue continues to be a bit lacking.

Once Upon a Time: Season 1, Episode 2- The Thing You Love Most

 "Since when were apples a threat?"

This second episode makes it increasingly fascinating where all this is going, as our protagonist Emma digs her investigative claws further into Storybrooke, not so much discouraged but encouraged by Regina's constant harassment, while the fairytale scenes add a little depth and detail to the backstory. Is this going to be the format?

Regina seems perturbed to see the Storybrooke clock move, and time start to move forward. Does this make her suspect who Emma may be? Certainly the constant framings and harassment, which begin to stretch even the patience of sheriff Christian Grey (using Jamie Dornan's native Norn Iron tones) indicate she's beginning to be somewhat concerned, and that's before we get to the fascinating final scene with the enigmatic and charismatic Mr Gold- who seems to enjoy exactly the power and prestige that Rumpelstiltskin was promised in the fascinating fairytale scenes.

There's a constant dance between Emma, Regina and Henry, but is Emma starting to believe? It's ambiguous at this point, but I suspect her investigative nature can't help but add to her suspicions. Not only this, but does she have some sort of power to detect lies?

The flashback scenes are more the focus for this episode, though, as we see the steps the Evil Queen had to take in order to acquire the curse in the first place. So we meet Maleficent, and Rumpelstiltskin tells the Queen the true cost of the curse, which will in any case leave her forever "empty"- she must kill the person she loves most. And that's her doddery old man, who gets a scene to establish he's an awfully nice old chap before the Evil Queen stabs him brutally with her knife. Lovely. Now we know just how ruthless she can be- presumably in both realities.

This is clever, and the characters are likeable. There's perhaps a lack of sparkle in the dialogue, but I'm enjoying this.

Once Upon a Time: Season 1, Episode 1- Pilot

 "What do you think stories are for?"

Yes, I know, I have all sorts of stuff on the go, but this is something Mrs Llamastrangler has been obsessed with over the last few months, and marathoning it again with me is something we can do together while she's ill and bedridden. I see there's rather a large number of episodes. Gulp.

Obviously I've seen a fair few Disney films (Little Miss Llamastrangler is five) but I'm very far from being a hardcore fan and no doubt will fail to get all the references that no doubt lurk within each episode. First impressions, with the introductory bit of text, are nicely metatextual as we join Snow White and Prince Charming (was he some kind of bigamist or something, with Cinderella too?) at the end of their tale as they are married... and then cursed by the delightfully evil, and sexy, Evil Queen. I love the way sh's simply referred to as that. Lana Parilla is superb here, managing to convey the right level of cartoonishly evil without overdoing things.

And then we switch to the real world, in contemporary (well, 2011, before all that unpleasantness with Brexit and Trump) Boston, as we meet private investigator Emma in a particularly cool introduction, as the bloke she's on a date with turns out to be a fugitive, and her quarry. And then up pops Henry, the son she gave up for adoption ten years ago.

Henry is an interesting and resourceful kid, played by a good child actor... and his adoptive mother Regina- the major of Storybrooke, Maine- is somehow the same person as the Evil Queen, which gives some credence to Henry's insistence that the whole town is stuck in time, and populated by fairytale characters who know not who they are.

Back to the fairytale world- it's clever how the cinematography and lighting subtly distinguishes the two realities- Snow White and the Prince are off to get a prophecy from the imprisoned Rumpelstiltskin, played with show-stealing aplomb by the ever-magnificent Robert Carlyle in a part very different from his usual fare. Begbie this is not, but a cunning, eccentric faerie creature that dominates the screen and is compulsively watchable, whether as Rumpelstiltskin or Mr Gold.

The royal couple learn that their future is bleak but that there is hope in the form of their soon-to-be-born daughter... Emma. And we instantly know, by the iron law that TV dramas never feature multiple characters with the same name, whom that is.

The moment of the birth sets off the terrible CGI curse, but baby Emma gets away, following a swordfight by the Prince where he holds his newborn daughter with his other hands, sends her away- and is promptly killed. Snow White now has nothing- and is about to be sent "somewhere horrible" by the Evil Queen. And in Emma and Henry we have two generations given up by their parents.

This may not be top tier telly, perhaps, but so far it's certainly grabbed me.

The War of the Worlds: Part 3

"I should like a bacon sandwich."

Sigh. I've been procrastinating about watching this final episode and yes, like the series as a whole, it just isn't very good. Is there any way I can avoid this blog post just consisting of me metaphorically putting this 55 minutes of telly over my knee for a sound spanking?

Well, no one sets out to make bad telly. It's well shot, particularly the action sequences with the CGI Martian. The acting is not so much bad- everyone is competent- but, Robert Carlyle aside, lacking in charisma. And you can see glimpses at times of the fact that Peter Harness is the same writer who has done so much good stuff in the past- the coda of Amy describing to little George is rather lovely. So is the ambiguous note of hope as the clouds seem to clear at the end. Will George live? Will Amy's and Ogilvy's typhoid cure be rolled out? Will they manage to grow crops and survive the winter? Will Ogilvy ever get that bacon sandwich? We can just about imagine that they might. Or not.

But such glimpses do not good telly make. Fundamentally, I think, the structure doesn't work. The first episode was ok, with its linear narrative and the fun of Edwardian Surrey facing an invasion from Mars, in spite of the charisma-free leads. But, for this episode and the last, the split narrative- the flashback to the invasion and the "present" day of the red weed and civilisation breaking down- not only makes the narrative actively less dramatic but adds nothing to the subtext or characters.

Yes, I can see that it would have been worse narratively to have an episode culminating in the Martians dying and another one on the later years of red weed and starvation. But why have the latter at all? If it's a crude metaphor for the climate crisis then it doesn't work; the red weed isn't man made, however much the subtext- in the original novel here and too didactically articulated by George here- may be that this is the British Empire getting its just desserts. Nor do I like how George's idealism is shown as naive and unrealistic. I'm no socialist- my heroes are John Lilburne, John Maynard Keynes and Henry George, not Keir Hardie or the Webbs-  but I don't like how socialism is caricatured here.

I suppose, then, that this is quite well made. But the whole thing is woefully misconceived and, in spite of some good work in paces, sadly a bad piece of television.

The War of the Worlds: Part 2

"This isn't our planet any more."

Oh dear. The first episode was flawed but had promise, and Peter Harness is a writer with a good track record. Yet this second episode is a load of turgid dross that bodes I’ll for a final episode which I will only be watching because of this blog. What went wrong?

There were issues with the first episode, certainly. Rafe Spall has no charisma. And the original novel is perhaps more justly famous for the barriers it become than for its quality. But there’s nothing in this first episode to suppose a mess like this may follow. Essentially we have two narratives- a main one in 1905 after the initial invasion as chaos ensues but, eventually, the Martians die for reasons which aren’t entirely clear unless you happen to have read the novel or, indeed, seen any of the numerous screen versions. The framing narrative is set a few years later, on a much redder Earth, with the Martians long gone but their terraforming has seeming to have turned Earth into a red planet which is slowly becoming less capable of supporting humans- and, one assumes, more hospitable for those of Martian extraction.

This is an attempt to insert the current climate crisis into the story, essentially wrapping up the invasion early on after a number of set pieces so that we can focus on a theme which obviously resonates for our age. But this is ill-conceived; we still don’t care about the characters, particularly not George, and the constant striving in both narratives for the couple to reunite just simply fails to be interesting. Instead we are left with the ideals and while, yes, the obvious subtext is laudable, it feels very much crowbarred in. And what exactly is this saying? The climate crisis here isn’t man made, as ours is. The parallel is crude.

So yes- the tripods look good. So does the reddened world a few years on. Eleanor Tomlinson and Robert Carlyle are good. But the whole thing just fails as a drama and that is down, I’m afraid, to the script.

The War of the Worlds: Part 1

“I mean, something can’t erupt from Mars and end up in Surrey.”

I know, I’m a week behind, but here I am blogging this. After all, following Jonathan Strange I could hardly miss another adaptation of a classic geek novel by Peter Harness and while, I think, this isn’t quite as good- much like the source material, to be honest- it’s a solid and welcome return of War of the Worlds to its period roots- although why they set it a few years after the novel’s publication dare of 1898 I have no idea. Edward VII is king but the Tories are clearly in power, going by the prominent role of a monocle-free Uncle Joe Chamberlain, so it’s only a few years later- presumably 1902 as Ogilvy mentions Mars has been equally close in ‘94 and ‘98.. Why change the period so very slightly?

Nevertheless, the whole thing looks superb. That goes for both the period setting and the visual effects, which either goes light on the CGI or wears it lightly. The direction cannot be faulted. And the script takes an intelligent approach of taking Wells’ plot and approach and adding drama- so Wells’ unnamed narrator is now George, and he is scandalously living in sin with Amy while technically still incestuously married- and because his ex won’t sign the papers he won’t get a divorce until she dies. Ouch. All this, and the ensuing friction with George’s brother Frederick, adds depth. So does the use of the imperialistic Chamberlain as politician of choice- after all, the subtext of the novel is to turn the behaviour of the imperialistic British against us.

Eleanor Tomlinson is splendidly charismatic, and Robert Carlyle excels against type as the scholarly Ogilvy. But there’s a charisma vacuum in the person of Rafe Spall, who doesn’t make us like or care about George. So, in spite of the top notch production and Peter Harness’s script, I’m a little ambivalent, not only about Spall but whether Wells’ novel as source material can lead to good drama; there are reasons why it’s often been departed from.

Let’s hope the remaining two episodes don’t rely much on Spall.

Trainspotting (1996)

"I haven't felt that good since Archie Gemmill scored against Holland in 1978."

This is one of my favourite films of all times, and it’s quite inexcusable that I’ve waited until I’m 550-odd films in to blog it. It’s superb; creTively directed, delightfully non-linear in its narration in a very post-Pulp Fiction way, perfectly cast, hilarious, devastating, and based on Irvine Welsh’s truly awesome novel.

Watching it again for the umpteenth fine, although for the first time in at least fifteen years, is how the charming, intelligent, outwardly sympathetic Mark Renton is actually a complete bastard. Yes, he’s complicit in the neglect and death of baby Dawn after he introduces the baby’s mother to heroin, but at least he’s not a parent. Yes, it’s unfair that Spud goes to prison and not his middle class self. Yes, he makes a lot of money in a big heroin deal, although as he doesn’t betray Spud I don’t think he needs feel any guilt about double crossing Sick Boy or Bregbie. No; they deserved all they got. But Tommy? He loses his girlfriend because Renton tricks him into letting him have a video having sex with Lizzie, causing Lizzie to leave him. Then the clean-living Tommy, devastated, asks Renton for heroin, which he gets. All this directly leads to AIDS and his horrible death, which is entirely Renton’s fault. But he’s negative.

Renton may have the privileges that come with being bareTir, but he’s as much of a bastard as anyone in the film. It’s just that he gets to cover it up with his middle class ways. And I bet none of his mates would have had the option of moving to London and making loads of money in the property business.

Sick Boy, despite of his amusing obsession with Sean Connery and his despair at Dawn’s death, is a grasping, cynical, amoral bastard. Begbie is a a monster of the type that far too many blokes have in their social circles. But Renton is as bad as any of them, and I think that’s what Welsh and Danny Boyle I tend us to conclude.

Still one of the greatest film ever made. I love the wit, I love the style, I love the worst toilet in Scotland, I love the nostalgic glimpse of a branch of John Menzies. And the soundtrack is awesome.