The Reptile (1966)

 "They don't like strangers in these parts!"

This may not exactly be Hammer's finest hour. It may, indeed, be a deeply formulaic Hammer Horror with a pleasingly unironic approsch to tropes. After all, we have both a pub that empties at the mention of the evil residence in question and a conclusion based around a country house being set on fire. But it's quirky, it's fun, and frankly I could never dislike a film in which Private Fraser from Dad's Army is bitten to death by Servalan from Blake's 7.

Yes, the film does tend to get slow towards the end as it runs out of plot but needs to pad out time until the exposition and conclusion, with various characters dramatically exploring the house to eerie Stockhausen-like incidental music. Yes, the reptile make-up is rubbish. But it's cheesy, it's fun, and it's recognisably Hammer.

It's nice, too, that there aren't any stars here, and that instead we get a stream of character actors. I'm not sure that this film is in any way scary, but there's plenty of intrigue, tension and mystery to hold the interest. Jennifer Daniel and Ray Barrett make an intriguing enough leading couple, while both Noel Wilman and Jacqueline Pearce are suitably sinister. John Laurie, of course, steals every scene he's in.

This is nothing special, certainly. It's Hammer by numbers. But there are times when Hammer by numbers is exactly what we want.

The Creeping Flesh (1973)

 "That is why I shall have to employ someone for whom eythics have no significance..."

This is (SPOILERS, even if I remain vague) a film which relies entirely on a last minute twist, upon which all relies and about which I;m not going to be able to say much. I'm not generally strict on spoilers but this is literally a last minute revelation which raises a poor to average film, based on seemingly silly concepts, to a film based on a script which actually has some merit.

Not that the production can be much faulted: Freddie Francis directs and Peter Cushing and Christopher Lee star in a horror film, not actually by either Hammer nor Amicus, yet which evokes both. The question is not whether or not the film is well made; it's about to what extent the last minute twist redeems what has until then been a ho-hum film.

There, I suppose, feminist subtexts here, about how feminine expressions of sexuality are seen, in quite horrifying scenes involving mother and daughter, about how expressions of female sexuality are seen firstly as invitations to rape and, upon resistance, as insanity.

The poster decives in that the skeleton, while impressive-looking, is not seen moving until a brief, dramatic scene at the end of the film. Yet there is an interesting feminist subtext here in a script which takes its time to reveal what is really going on while appering really quite silly for most of its length. It's alsoa film in which awidowed Cushing is made to mourn his late wife.

This is an interesting curiosity, perhaps. But the last minute twist does not save it from mediocrity.

Quatermass and the Pit: Episode 5- The Wild Hunt

"We're the Martians now."

It is both a complement and an observation on how television pacing has changed over the decades that this penultimate episode is both mostly exposition and gripping. The atmosphere means that the centrepiece- the footage of the Martian “Wild Hunt”, which consists of violent ethnic cleansing- consists of charmingly dated special effects. We don’t care.

Nor do we care that this episode moves beyond the “ancient aliens” property into matters of se one sight and telekinesis, supposed by Bernard to be a Martian legacy. Likewise, we care not that Roney’s ma bone for seeing impressions of the mind’s eye is an impossibility now, let alone in 1959, and is an odd thing for a palaeontologist to have constructed. Indeed, we raise a momentary eyebrow on his Miss Judd, being female, is naturally hysterical and in need of a tot of brandy. We overlook all this, because this is bloody good telly.

I haven’t praised Andre Morell enough; he is charismatic, likeable and easily the best Quatermass so far in any medium. But I must also praise Anthony Bushell, whose continuously brilliant portrayal of the thick and arrogant Breen, the ultimate figure of official idiocy, reaches a crescendo here as thousands are put in danger by official intransigence. I can’t wait until the finale...

Quatermass and the Pit: Episode 4- The Enchanted

“You realise what you’re implying? That we owe our human condition to the intervention of insects?”

And here we have it; the ideas episode. This is where Quatermass expounds on the possibility that these alien arthropods, perhaps from a more habitable Mars of five million years ago, prefigured The War of the Worlds by attempting to somehow terraform their blue neighbour. I’m not sure what advantage they would gain by boosting the intelligence of early hominids, but it’s an arresting thought and one that has had a profound effect ever since both on science fiction and silly flying saucer conspiracy theories- I note this was more than a decade before Erich Von Daniken.

The drama is still at the forefront though as Roney rushes to preserve the remains and Quatermass grapples with the enormity of what is occurring. Further research establishes that such figures have Haunted mankind since prehistory- it is here that Bernard expounds upon the chilling idea of “race memory”. But it’s when we see the utter blind stupidity of Colonel Breen, which reaches new heights here, and how the powers that be accept his explantation above that of Bernard- evidently Michael Gove wasn’t the first person to have had enough of experts- that we return to Kneale’s ever-disapproving view of humanity. As an aside, it’s fascinating, as a Doctor Who fan, to see the obvious influence here on the work of Malcolm Hulke.

Perhaps I could venture a mild criticism in that Miss Judd, the only female character at this point, is a merely functional character, but this is brilliant telly. And it’s only at the very end, as the alien vessel does something to poor Sladdern that seems to make him a focus of poltergeist activity, that any physical danger arises- but it’s here now....

Quatermass and the Pit: Episode 3- Imps and Demons

"It's a good thing to be insured. At least it cheers you up."

After last episode’s slight wobble we’re back to the gripping and gradual unveiling of what is going on, concluding with the reveal of the insect-like alien bodies inside the capsule which have been there for “a long time”. Meanwhile we discover that the ghost stories go back many centuries and coincide with the disturbing of the ground, while “Hobbs Lane” itself is a probable reference to the Devil.

Elsewhere, James Fullalove is back and still the same stereotypical reporter. He recognises Quatermass from a photo in spite of the fact he looks nothing like he did in Quatermass 2, but then again the same could be said for Fullalove himself. Looks as though he will be hanging around for a while.

I also wonder about those strange marks on the.Captain’s and Sergeant’s hands- first inkling of a present day threat from the artifact? This is fantastic stuff, and I can think of at least two Doctor Who stories that owe an awful lot to this.

Quatermass and the Pit: Episode 2- The Ghosts

"It was a kind of figure!"

Once again Nigel Knee shows us, in an unusually slow episode that for once feels a little padded, that he takes a rather dim view of human behaviour. Yet there are interesting contradictions. Colonel Breen, while undoubtedly a fool for insisting on rushing the archaeology in order to dig up the artifact, is portrayed as a fool for neglecting to see its extra-terrestrial origins. Yes the credulousness of the tealeaves-reading types who insist on having seen ghosts thirty years earlier runs is also criticised. What is Kneale saying here? It looks as though he’s trying to have it both ways.

That isn’t the only bad tempered moment, either; even the normally likeable Quatermass snaps at Miss Judd when she tries to help. But, nevertheless, this is part of a gripping tale, of a rather slow one by itself. Not enough really happens in terms of plot, character or mood to justify the running time. Still, we are introduced to Roney’s optical encephalograph; I suspect the law of Chelhov’s gun will kick in later.

Still, the tension continues to build as more and more signs emerge that this is a five million year old spacecraft- although the skulls are indeed of terrestrial origin. This episode may be unusually slow, but the underlying plot continues to grip.

Quatermass and the Pit: Episode 1- The Halfmen

"They'll stick me alongside the Piltdown forgeries as a horrid warning!"

It's good to get back to Quatermass, that slow-building tension and that great storytelling team of Nigel Kneale and Rudolph Cartier. There are so many superb touches here, from the neat little piece of exposition by newspaper headlines to the use of vox pops. Yet these vox pops don't give a very flattering impression of people, ignorant and self-centred as they (we) are, and it doesn't take long before Kneale's bleak view of human nature shows itself.

In fact, even in one episode, Quatermass and the Pit paints a far bleaker picture of humanity than either of its predecessors. The builders who find the skull are ignorant and venal; the archaeological work of Dr Roney is at risk because of others' greed and, worse, Quatermass' beloved British Rocket Group faces a military takeover, enforced by arrogant civil servants and personified by the arrogant and very soldier-like Colonel Breen.

Quatermass is alone in a room full of Civil servants (gasp, how awful!) who are happy to rubber stamp the military takeover of plans to build bases on the Moon and Mars within seven years, which are to see the militarisation of space a generation before Reagan: a horrible "dead man's deterrent" which will avenge a nuked Britain from beyond the brain. It's a horrible perversion of science and the spirit of exploration but, in Kneale's world, that's humanity for you.

Andre Morell, following the now well-established tradition of replacing a dead predecessor as Quatermass, is superb, rather eclipsing both other actors. Cec Linder, though, is also engaging and charismatic as Dr Roney, a brash and courageous Canadian palaeontologist.

Seemingly, the bones of four previously unknown early hominids have been found, but also a strange metal object, and we're left with the thought that this sat below remains which are up to five million years old...

This is gripping telly. It's the first time I've seen it in well over a decade and I'm already excited about the next five episodes.

Quatermass 2 (1957)

"This is the food, and it burns..."

I understand this is the first ever time a sequel was demarcated with the number "2" in the title?

It's interesting seeing this so shortly after its TV predecessor, as I was unable to do with the last film for obvious reasons; it all seems so rushed and fast paced. So many characters don't appear. The ending is more rushed than anything. No one goes into space. And Sid James is playing Roger Delgado. That's weird.

Add to that the fact that Brian Donlevy isn't at all likeable and you have a film that seems to be treading water and is disturbingly lacking in charm. Yes, it's in colour, it's often on location and it's all so much more expensive, but the sense of scale is so much less. There's only a vague sense of where the meteorites come from and the end- just firing a rocket- comes as a sudden deus ex machina. And don't get me started on all those Cockney natives of Cumbria.

Something of a damp squib, then, although I'm left wondering if I'd have liked it more if the TV series hadn't have survived.

The Plague of the Zombies (1966)

"I should have drowned you at birth!"

"Thank you, father!"

Interesting that this enjoyable Hammer romp is pre-George A. Romero, if only just. But it's fascinating to see that, as late as 1966, zombies were still very much associated in popular culture with their Haitian origins. Thus we have voodoo dolls, and a rather incongruous-looking Haitian butler in a Cornwall country home. It's striking to see the negative portrayal of voodoo here, though: it's referred to, in Christian terms, as "witchcraft".

It's also amusing to reflect on how class-ridden the society in this film is. The baddie is the local squire who, naturally, firmly rules the village. Meanwhile our delightfully grumpy hero, Andre Morell's splendid Sir James, is a posh medical professor to whom everyone defers and whom all working class characters call "Sir". He even gets essentially let off when caught grave robbing by the fuzz because of how posh he is.

It's amusing to see a very young Jacqueline Pearce here. Servalan, it seems, was a Victorian/Edwardian zombie before she rose in the ranks of the Federation.

This is peak Hammer by numbers, but peak Hammer by numbers is a great way to spend ninety minutes. I enjoyed this film hugely.