What If... Peter Quill Attacked Earth's Mightiest Heroes?

 "Bummer. I thought you were the dude from Van Halen."

Yes, I know. I'm doing so much telly at the moment, and it's a struggle to keep up. I blame all the new telly. There's this, there's Fool Me Once, there's Echo after this. I fear that Twin Peaks and the Batman movie serial may have to take a very temporary back seat, but they're very much ongoing. Same with Robin of Sherwood.

Anyway, I enjoyed this. There's character stuff with PeterQuill as a kid with Ego as the main threat. There is, perhaps, an overly neat resolution. But it's fun seeing an Avengers team form in 1988. We get a young Hank Pym, Bill Foster, and the fortysomethings are represented by T'Chaka... and both Peggy and Howard must be nearing retirement age. Peggy isn't aging bad. The Winter Soldier is well handled, though, and Thor is fun. 

One complaint, though: the United States has many fine ales and a proud brewing traditiob. But its bottled "light beers" are unfit for human consumption. Thor and T'Chaka endorsing "light beer" is the most unrealistic thing in this episode.

Ant-Man and the Wasp: Quantumania (2023)

 "How many holes do you have? I'm sorry, is that a personal question?"

I hear this film is not so well-liked as some Marvel films. I rather suspect that this may be connected to the fact that this film is utterly bonkers. I, for one, say that this is no bad thing.

Where to start? I'll briefly observe, with the MCU fifteen years in, that it offers a fascinating contrast with the comics in that there can be no equivalent of Marvel time: actors age. Even, at last, Paul Rudd. Even Michelle Pfeiffer, sixty-five and sexy. Even Michael Douglas, an action grandad living his best life as a Hank Pym in his late seventies. And, yes, Cassie is an adult xennial, part of that awesome generation that won't tolerate oppression and will save us all.

Then there's the wildness of the quantum realm. It's CGI, and obviously so, but it's perhaps the most out there science fantasy madness ever to be given to us by a mainstream Hollywood offering, full of trippy, utterly and deliciously insane visuals.

But... Kang. Wow. I'm aware of the... issues surrounding Jonathan Majors at the moment. And how, indeed, the Kang arc may be affected. With the post-credits sequences really leaning into Kang as a massive thing, too: Immortus, Rama-Tut, a proper Council of Kangs, all played by Jonathan Mayors. But damn, he's such a good actor- charismatic, believable as a villiain who is a cross between Einstein and Alexander the Great from a thousand years in the future. He comes across as psychopathic, yes; charismatic, yes; but a three dimensional person, with wit and a penetrating intelligence. Everything he says, one feels, contains a subtext that goes over one's head. He's quite the villiain, a triumph of both script and acting. He has both the eccentricity of a scientist and the believable threat of a man who can and will conquer for the intellectual challenge.

I haven't even mentioned the excellent humour, or the heartwarming daddy/daughter stuff between Scott and Cassie, something which this doting and denied daddy just gobbles up. Little Miss Llamastrangler will be just as brilliant. Then there's the love between Hope and Scott, Scott's insecurity as the man who talks to ants vs. his heroism, the glorious heroism of Janet and Hank, old people who kick arse. 

And, yeah, super-evolved, socialist ants. Although, you know, perhaps they should read a bit less Marx and a bit more Beveridge, and Lloyd George without the temperance. But I digress. The point is, the critics are wrong, This is one of the finest Marvel movies of this decade.

What If... the World Lost Its Mightiest Heroes?

 "Sir, I'm going to have to ask you to exit the donut."

Another intriguing, if very short, eposode here as Nick Fury has to deal with the original avengers (sans the still-frozen Captain America) being killed by a mystery baddie before the Avengers Initiative can take off.

It's clever- I like the use of Loki, and the twist at the end as he almost casually takes over Earth. I'm not sure about the Coulson jokes- its all a bit "ha ha, he's gay", but the reveal as to what the POD was is clever- it's Hope Van Dyne being killed in action for SHIELD, causing Hank Pym to go all unhinged and- nice touch- to don the mantle of Yellowjacket in a nod to the comics, this time thankfully without the domestic violence.

It's a shame not all the voice actors are the real actors, but these are big stars, not always available, and it's easier to use understudies for animation- although I hope the non-appearance of Scarlett Johansen isn't because of that massive mardy Disney threw at her last year.

A little rushed, then, but this is engaging enough.

Ant-Man and the Wasp (2018)

“Anyone see a southern gentleman carrying a building?”

We have Disney Plus now, so it’s time to go back and fill those few remaining gaps. The oldest film I haven’t blogged (but have seen) is Captain America: Civil War, but I’ll get to that soon. This is another Marvel triumph, if anything better than its predecessor, and the perfect blend of comedy, heist antics and superheroics. Paul Rudd is again superb, with excellent comic timing, and the whole plot fits together like the perfect farce. This is the comedy corner of the MCU, and it’s a fun place to be. 

There’s also plenty to satisfy my inner geek. Scott’s antics with “Cap” have had severe consequences. The first post-credits scene links things very firmly with the events in the more serious films. And we have a new female version of Ghost- whose father is Egghead, a nice touch. We also meet Bill Foster- played superbly, as ever, by Laurence Fishburne. Let’s hope he’ll be Goliath once more the next time we see him. Michelle Pfeiffer may be very much at odds with the Janet Van Dyne from the comics, but she’s good. It’s good to see her and Hank Pym get their happy ending- sort of.

This film mixes stapstick humour, wit, superhero action, car chases and quantum trippiness to give us a concoction that may not aspire any higher than to be a fun little blockbuster, but it does that very well. Any film with a building that can be wheeled along like a briefcase has to be cool.

Ant-Man (2015)

"How's retirement?"

"How's your face?"

This is probably one of the less good Marvel films I've seen; there was a certain lack of polish and there's an unevenness that makes it very noticeable that Edgar Wright was replaced as director. And yet it shows the Marvel benchmark that we nevertheless have a thoroughly enjoyable film that isn't going to garner many negative comments. It helps that Paul Rudd is so excellent.

You can sort of tell, in spite of the different genre (a heist movie within the Marvel Cinematic Universe) and very different setting that the script is from the same source as a certain three films starring Simon Pegg and Nick Frost, in spite of the lowered humour quotient. But this is very much a Marvel film, complete with Stan Lee cameo and gratuitous reference to Tales to Astonish. It's interesting that Henry Pym was a superhero, as Ant-Man, back in the '80s here, but that Janet Van Dyne, a character I remember so well from Secret Wars, is dead. my Marvel comics knowledge is pretty thorough up to about 1993 and pretty hazy after that; is she dead in the comics?

It's nice to have someone released from prison (admittedly for a pretty Robin Hood crime that doesn't lose our sympathy) as a hero. This film believes in rehabilitation, which is a big reason to like it. The character stuff s good too- Scott being cruelly kept from his daughter (my own little girl is not much younger) and the dynamic between Hank and Hope. The most emotive scenes are all about fathers and daughters. It's a fun film to watch, and even has a giant Thomas the Tank Engine. It's well worth seeing, and don't be put off by the fact that there are better Marvel films. It would be a shame to skip this.