I May Destroy You: Ego Death

 "The alliance is spicy, blud..."

This final episode, even in the context of the eleven episodes that precede it, is extraordinary. We are presented, in a bravely non-linear finale, with three alternate endings before the simple ending is revealed.

The first ending, while chaotic, consists of simple, violent revenge... and goes too far, because anger and hate are dangerous. Then we have a more nuanced revenge ending in arrest and justice, yet the rapist here (David) turns out to have been an abused child, still traumatised. And this is the problem with crime, punishment and revenge: there are cycles of abuse. People are not born evil; they become so through suffering. An eye for an eye makes us all blind, prison brutalises, and judicial punishment just outsources violence to the state. It's progress from vendettas, as per the Oresteia, but society needs to move beyond such things. The answer lies in rehabilitation and understanding, not in "punishment".

The third narrative has Arabella consensually seduce and shag David, which is deliberately awkward and provocative in context. On the surface, Bella is taking control, but there are all sorts of problems here, not least that men like David would never be capable of such bedroom etiquette. 

The ending, finally, shows true wisdom, as Bella decides not to go to Ego Death. After all, the rapist doesn't matter. He is nothing. Far more important to live her life, publish her novel, be awesome. And, yes, to recognise that flsatmate Ben is lovely and give him a hug.

This is beautiful, understated, complex drama.

I May Destroy You: Happy Animals

 "It's declined. Can I get a selfie, please?"

As ever, this is a thought-provoking episode with lots to unpick, centred around Terri's birthday party and the fact that Bella, still needing to earn a living despite the rapes, is broke.

Bella's treatment by the publishing boss she'd previously idolised is horribly, patronisingly casual: an advance isn't forthcoming. And she's to fulfil the contract, not write things about rape. All of which follows from humiliation in the supermarket.

We also see Kwame beginning to process what has happened to him, telling Terri about it. And we get some awkwardly racialised stuff about climate change. The pastor spouts absurd climate sceptic conspiracy theories bases on colonialism and white exploitation of resources which is, on the face of it, absurd and harmful..,. but then Theo confesses she got paid more for introducing Bella as an influencer because she's a "person of colour". Yet Theo is honest, and very frank about the ethical problems. She very much seems a decent person... but, as Terri mentions, the sins of the past have yet to be acknowledged. There are no easy answers here.

Terri and Bella pronounce their undying, and rather drunken, love for each other at the party... but an earlier conversation with an aggrieved Simon indicates that Terri may have more to do with the abandonment of Arabella to her eventual rape that night than previously thought. The plot thickens. Again, this is good, ethically nuanced, uncomfortable yet sublime telly.

I May Destroy You: The Alliance

 "I'm here to learn how to avoid being raped..."

We see yet another angle on rape and sexual assault in tghis clever and subtle episode. Arabella finds a support group run by Theodora, an old friend, who appears to be awesome, and a survivor of sexual abuse. There's no denying that Arabella benefits from being there, even if the words she says are utterly heartbreaking. She's terrified of being raped yet again.

Yet Theo's past, seen in a flashback to 2004 (surely just a couple of years ago...?), is full of ambiguity. On the surface, she falsely accuses a boy, Ryan, of rape- and it is, sadly, not exactly immaterial to how the complaint is treated that she has her "white girl tears" and Ryan is Black. Ryan is exonerated when the phone footage is found, and his friends, including a young Terry and Arabella, help him celebrate as Theo mutters a racist epithet under her breath.

Yet there's more to it; it seems this isn't the first time Theo lied about such things, being coached by her mother to lie about her father sexually abusing her and domestically abusing her mother for reasons of custody. Making a child do that is itself abuse, and Theo's behaviour is part of a cycle of abuse.

And, it must be said, Ryan is a dick. Theo wanted love, but she got a cheap shag for money, with photos taken without her consent in what is arguably a kind of sexual assault. Things are ambiguous, as ever. This is excellent, thought-provoking telly.