Inhumans: And Finally- Black Bolt

"If I can't have Attilan, no one will!"

Oh.

Well, that was disappointing, and it's not only the season finale but the last episode ever, What went wrong?

The Whole point about the Inhumans is their society on Attilan. No one is interested in stuff going on about Hawaii. Hawaii may look nice, but it's the real world, not exciting and weird like Attilan. yes, I know that good writing and nuanced characters could have made Hawaii exciting and interesting, but we didn't get any of that, did we?

No; we get Attilan literally destroyed by Maximus' hubris and incompetence, and 1,700 Inhumans are now refugees in America, which is a really great place for immigrants at the moment. (Oh, and Black Bolt- you have fewer subjects than my old upper school had pupils, and you call yourself a king? The Grand Duke of Luxembourg and the princes of Monaco and Liechtenstein would like a word.)

This means that any second series, which thankfully will not now happen, would have focused on the Inhumans' adjustment to life on Earth, and the agenda of their mysterious benefactor who Louise's previously sceptical boss has suddenly found. Yawn. Also unresolved are Gorgon's resurrection, the fact that the guilt-ridden Karnak is in trouble over that, the fact that Black Bolt ruled over a state with a slave class for years which makes him a problematic hero, and Crystal's pining for Dave.

But it seems this is it. The evacuation. Louise not even getting to see Attilan after all she's done for that bitch Medusa, although why Medusa doesn't find her in a prison cell after all the laws she's broken I have no idea. The tiresome showdown between Black Bolt on Attilan, leaving Maxie king of nobody in a bunker with apparently infinite supplies. Maximus' responses to everything Black Bolt signs always including a crude bt of exposition as to what he supposedly said. Anson Mount, predictably, getting one climactic line. Meh.

Is that it? Can we sop now? This series had such promise at the start. What happened? Such a terrible shame.

Inhumans: Havoc in the Hidden Land

"Think about what kind of ruler you want to be."

Well, there was me thinking that once we left all the Earth stuff behind and got everyone back to Attilan things would improve. Well, not really. This is clearly meant to be the exciting penultimate episode, setting up the final battle between Black Bolt and Maximus (I'm betting Anson Mount get a line next episode) while establishing both that Maximus wants to undergo a second terrigenesis to acquire some powers and also that this is traditionally seen as a Bad Thing To Do- hence the secondary cliffhanger of second terrigenesis having resurrected Gorgon, in some form or other.

Yes it doesn't quite come off. Crystal is now suddenly pining for Hawaii and her beloved Dave, but ths has hardly been earned. We, and surely she, hardly know Dave. Triton is back but, again, we hardly know him. And then there's Medusa and Black Bolt arguing over whether to be vengeful or merciful with Maximus- but surely this is no choice at all? As Aeschylus established thousands of years ago the way to break the cycle of revenge and vendettas is a justice system. Surely Attilan has laws? If Black Bolt is just an arbitrary ruler then he's not the good guy.

It all goes as expected, with a parley and Maximus double crossing everyone. Good though Iwan Rheon is at twirling his non-existent moustache, this episode isn't really about anything and by this stage we've long come to leaen not to expect much in characterisation. Inhumans looks set to end not with a bang but with a whimper.

Inhumans: The Gentleman’s Name Is Gorgon

”You’re like some kind of god of thunder!”

Another so-so episode- but have we seen the last of the scenes set on Earth? Please? Sorry, Hawaii, you’re picturesque and all, and I wish you well in your struggle against your imperialist oppressor, but I want to see Attilan, not you.

We begin with a flashback where it's hinted that Maximus may have killed his and Black Bolt's parents, something which I suspect is bound to surface later. Meanwhile, as the cousins plot to get Crystal and rescue Black Bolt's human friends, Medusa and Black Bolt debate how hard they should come down on Maximus. On Attilan, though, Maximus twirls his moustache with as much charisma as ever (Iwan Rheon really is the standout performer of this series) and overthrows a plot against him.

I'm afraid we have a bit of Earth stuff to do first, though. Crystal gets a proper snog with Dave but not much later the two of them seem quite sanguine about parting, seemingly forever, as a kind of holiday romance. Louise, too, seems oddly happy to give up the chance to see Attilan, staying behind to wait and be arrested for car theft. Is this really it for them? This series has always felt like a rigid plot structure is driving events no matter what, and characters' feelings and motivations must conform to this or else.

We do get some dramatic stuff, though. Auron is not immortal and, like a certain BBC character, can only regenerate and survive death for as many times as the plot requires.We are reminded once again that Attilan is a caste-based society and, whatever Maximus' motives, he is trying to change this. Karnak gets to be cool and, with Gorgon's assistance, get at least some of his mojo back. However, once Mordis finally decides to blow himself up (the character always was Chekhov's Gun on legs), Gorgon shockingly blows himself up, dying heroically. This will, I imagine have consequences and, fairly bland though the character was, it's a bit of a shock that such a well-known character should die.

This is very mediocre telly, though. Can we hope that the fact we've left Earth will enliven things>

Inhumans: Something Inhuman This Way Comes

"This is my office!"

So we begin with an amusingly post-coital Karnak, somewhat confused as to the feelings he has for Jen. The connection between them only deepens as Jen’s friends turn on her and they have to fight and flee for their lives, consoled at least by the deaths of the other two blokes until their replacements turn out to be bigger and even nastier fish. This subplot, at least, is somewhat entertaining.

Meanwhile Louise is acting as chauffeur to the royal couple, with Locus in the boot. There’s a presumably foreshadowing remote chat between Medusa and Maximus in which she relays the fact that Black Bolt threatens to have “a few words”, but these scenes revolve mainly around dialogue skirting around the hot topic of just how legitimate royal rule is, and the caste system which it supports and which Maximus, even accounting for his motives and tyrannical behaviour, is abolishing. One is reminded that even Caligula’s tyranny to the ruling classes didn’t prevent him being a popular and successful ruler for the masses. Black Bolt and Medusa are decidedly ambiguous figures and, if only Maximus twirled his moustache a little less, he’d be the goodie. Still, one can’t help thinking that a better script would have explored this more.

Crystal, with Lockjaw healed, has a bit of a holiday this episode as she frolics in the beach with the laid back Dave, presumably a love interest who will, ahem, teach her about humanity, bring her out of her shell and teach her an Important Lesson which she will apply back home. It’s clear that both she and Medusa are set to question their rejection of their parents’ radicalism, annoying though Medusa May be about it.

Gorgon rescues the captured Karnak and Jen and is surprised to see his cousin has become somewhat less arrogant, a reaction somewhat crudely set up by a series of flashbacks. We end up with the two of them reunited with Black Bolt and Medusa, although for some reason Jen has to bugger off. Meanwhile, on Attila, rebellion erupts...

Sigh. This is all very by the numbers. Still, as Magnus Magnusson used to say, I’ve started so I’ll finish.

Inhumans: Make Way for... Medusa

"Well, how did you guys get here?"

"My sister's teleporting dog."

So this is the episode where Medusa “heroically” manages to rescue Black Bolt and his mate from the new scientific prison in which he finds himself and we are, I think, supposed to see her as a hero. But she isn’t, is she? She speeds up and jumps a red light, thereby attracting totally unnecessary attention from the police, and she needlessly alienates Louise, whom she needs. Her people skills are crap and she’s completely charmless and unlikeable.

I wouldn’t go so far as to describe this episode as that, but there’s a sense that, plot-wise, characters are just being moved around the board for no good purpose and simply killing time until the inevitable showdown in Attilan. Yes, Gorgon gets close to his human friend’s and considers them “brothers”. Yes, the overly logical Karnak gets to learn about romance and have sex, but there’s no real depth to any of this, no wit or heart, and there’s no suggestion the Inhumans are learning anything here. The subplot with Crystal, the vet and her ex-lover, and the injured Lockjaw feels particularly like treading water.

Meanwhile, on Attilan, Maximus twiddles his moustache and disbands the Generics Council. This, at least, is interesting; his motives may be selfish, but undermining a genetics-based caste system has to be a progressive move. Thing is, if Black Bolt and co support this system, are they the good guys? Medusa especially cones across as a total bitch for rubbishing her parents’ idealism.

Four episodes in, and I’m worried that we may already have witnessed a leap over a fish of the genus carcharias.

Inhumans: Divide and Conquer

“Giant cow dogs do not exist.” A better episode this week as the need for exposition diminishes, we know the characters and the story can feather. It still feels a bit like that final season of Torchwood, though.

There’s a series of flashbacks here with Black Bolt and Maximus as children where a pre-mists Black Bolt expresses reluctance to be king as Maximus glowers, and we see both his parents’ trust in him to control his power and Avon gently telling Maximus that he’s a simple, vanilla human. Nice to have all these, I suppose, but the flashbacks don’t tell us anything we can’t infer, which makes their inclusion questionable. I suppose at least we have Agon explicitly telling Maximus he can never be king.

We also see Black Bolt threatened with violence in prison but making a friend with (Inhuman?) powers and connections with whom he manages to escape. I’m not sure how his friend manages to interpret his apparent muteness as a superpower though. He’s followed  throughout by the tenacious Louise, who manages to witness their helicopter escape- which just misses Medusa, whose own subplot has been treading water up until now.

Crystal manages to defy Maximus, find Lockjaw and escape to Hawaii, while Gorgon and his Hawaiian nationalist mates fight away an attack by Auran and her gang, including the mysteriously powerful Mordis. And Karnak, powers still damaged, is suffering a crisis of confidence and throws his lot in with some weed farmers.

We have a cliffhanger ending in which Lockjaw is, er, hit by a quad bike. All this is watchable and just about ok, but it’s awfully slow with a lot of treading water. Can we have a bit less of this boring old Earth stuff please?

Inhumans: Those Who Would Destroy Us

”I have to wait here until they send someone to bring me back.”

“Back where?”

“The Moon.”

“Cool!”

Episode 2 and, while the Hawaiian locations are visually sumptuous, I can’t help noticing that, after front loading the visual excitement of Attilan and all the awesome-looking Inhumans, we now have a shorn Medusa, less screen time for Lockjaw and most screen time either on Earth or in grey Attilan corridors.

We have four Inhumans on Earth: Karnak appears to have damaged himself; Gorgon has found some friends who accept what he is; Medusa is on a tourist bus; and Black Bolt is in central Honolulu being a damn fool. I can forgive the traffic incident which was beyond his control, but really- stealing clothes and assaulting a security guard? No wonder he gets himself arrrated on what threatens to be a tedious sub-plot.

Things are more interesting on Attilan, as ever, as Iwan Rheon shows himself to be superb as ever, with Maximus playing his little power games with that classic mixture of charm and threats to try and get Crystal and the Genetics Council onside. His flirting with political radicalism, with there being an existing underclass, is interesting. He’s playing with fire here but the grievances appear genuine. It’s interesting, too, that Crystal’s own parents were political radicals who opposed the royals.

Also interesting is Auran, agent and assassin working for Macimus who appears to be able to come back to life after being killed. So far there’s a lot of potential promise here in the ply lines, but it’s becoming clear that, Maximus and Black Bolt aside, few of the characters exactly ooze charisma and there looks to be a worrying amount of Earthbound treading of water.

Inhumans: Behold... the Inhumans

“This is why nobody invites you to do their birthday toasts...”

I’m told the critics didn’t like this, but Mrs Llamastrangler certainly did. First impressions are positive enough, though, although this isn’t the greatest programme ever so far. Fan service is present and correct; the episode ends with Maximus’ coup, but before Lockjaw spirits then away to Hawaii we see Triton (is he dead?), Medusa, Black Bolt, Crystal, Gorgon and Karnak all present and correct. The characters and their powers are all as per the comics, and we’re introduced to Attilan (on the Moon, don’t you know) with an awful lot of spectacle.

There are no stars in the cast, but the relative unknowns are largely impressive, particularly Anson Mount as Black Bolt, necessity requiring physical acting. The whole thing looks rather good, with some splendid CGI; Lockjaw looks awesome, as does Medusa's hair, although the fact that Maximus cuts it off in the first episode means they clearly couldn't afford to maintain the CGI.

This episode is the story of Maximus' coup, instigated against his brother because he wants Inhumans to seize Earth rather than be crowded where they are. Yet Black Bolt rules over no paradise; those Inhumans who get no powers from the Terrigen mists and, unlike Maximus, are not royal, are made to labour in the mines. This is a caste-ridden society, and clearly no democracy.

Overall this is a decent introduction, so I'll give the series a chance. If nothing else, that little cartoon of Lockjaw by the logo is awesome...