Catwoman (2004)

 "I'm a woman. I'm used to doing things I don't want to do.

This film has, well, not the best of reputations, but I was determined to go in with an open mind. Can this film really be as bad as it's cracked up to be?

Er, yes.

Why? Firstly there's the horrible music video direction and cinematography, with the horrible dated use of green light everywhere. Secondly there's the bizarre decision to completely ignore the comic book background. Some varitation is inevitable, even a lot of variation if justified, but this is barely based on Selina Kyle at all. It certainly doesn't use her name. The CGI is awful. Sharon Stone is even worse, although Halle Berry is not actually bad at all. And the early scenes about replacing the "face" of a cosmetics company remind me of The Wasp Woman, a much better film.

And then there's the script. Frustratingly, the plot could have been made to work with a little more doctoring, but we have what we have. I'm as big a cat lover as they come- we have four cats and I cuddle them all every day- but would I walk out on to the ledge of a window on the umpteenthh floor to rescue a cat? Er, no. The whole bit about Patience realising her employer is up to something and getting killed for it is like a crapper version of Batman Returns. The resurrection is silly, and the CGI cats don't look or move like real cats. Oh, and why would Tom be assigned to interview the suspect he was on a date with the previous night as opposed to a colleague with no conflict of interest? It's all very silly.

Much as I'd like to be contrary... yeah, this is rubbish.