Star Wars: The Phantom Menace (1999)

“I have a bad feeling about this...”

This is the first time I’ve seen this since I saw it at a now long-gone cinema in 1999, and went for a wee during the pod race scene. My twenty-two year old self was not impressed, but this time I was determined to watch with an open mind. So, is this film’s poor reputation deserved?

Well, on a second viewing two decades later the film is perhaps maligned a little more than it should be: it’s not that bad, and has its good points. But the fact remains that, aside from the effortlessly cool Liam Neeson as Qui-Hon Jinn, none of the main characters are particularly memorable, or at least not for the right reasons. Ewan McGregor is a charismatic actor in other stuff, but hopelessly miscast (or misdirected) here as Obi-Wan; in channelling Alec Guineas he fails to just be the character. Jake Lloyd was never going to win any Oscars for this, but he's a child actor. However... Jar Jar Binks? Just no.

The film starts in an uplifting manner with those opening titles, but then the blurb refers to “the taxation of trade routes”. The film has a decent plot- the Republic is declining so Palpatine uses a dispute with his pawns in the Trade Federation to start seizing power by manipulating all and sundry- but it’s just so damn slow. And George Lucas is as awful at dialogue as he ever was, although there are a few genuinely witty lines.

Still, it's not all bad- although this is clearly set in the Star Wars universe it's notable, having watched this straight after The Mandalorian that there are notable fewer Easter Eggs and fan-pleasing moments. Star Wars is still trying to do new stuff here. Also, the effects are awesome. Coruscant is cool as a kind of Trantor-like city planet. The CGI- especially with the sea monsters- is excellent and groundbreaking for 1999. I like Anakin's role at the end, paralleling Luke in Star Wars- although it's perhaps a little convenient for him to have designed C-3PO.

Oh, and the virgin birth is a terrible and pretentious idea. So is that of the Midichlorians, although on reflection this isn't quite as awful; the microbial nature of the Force doesn't make it any less magic. Still, the film isn't all that awful, and aside from the pod race and the ending it doesn't drag that much. But "not all that awful" is as far as I'm prepared to go.