The Sopranos: Boca

"They made me an offer I couldn't refuse..."

This episode is largely about, to use a term we wouldn't have used in 1999, toxic masculinity. It seems weird to me now, and did at the time, that anyone could consider cunnilingus- Exhibit A for actually caring about pleasing a woman in bed- to be in some way unmanly, but apparently it was considered so, at least in the circles where one risked sleeping with the fishes.

This is all in the context of nerves brought about by an obviously tightening FBI net that seems extremely likely to at least send Junior to a retirement home considerably less pleasant than Livia's, but Junior is extremely humiliated as the rumours spread that he is not averse to heading south. But Junior has a countermeasure as Tony mocks him at golf, in turn spreading the rumour that Tony sees a psychiatrist. Giving oral is one thing- but a man with feelings...?

Of course, what is "manly" is subjective. Here, in the America of 1999, all the daughters play football ("soccer") for their team- it's primarily a sport for girls in '90s America, here in England it was- and is- as macho a sport as they come, with women's football only gaining serious acceptance in the last few years. But the debate here is how to react to a coach who abuses his position to groom and sexually abuse a teenage girl. And, interestingly, Tony ultimately decides- following the advice of Dr Melfi and his henpecked friend Artie- not to whack the coach and instead to let the law take its course. Toxic masculinity is here outweighed by the feminine.

But no one escapes unscathed. In heartbreaking scenes we see Junior dump his girlfriend of sixteen years, Bobbie, leaving her distraught and crying why he suppresses his feelings, because boys don't cry.

I think the big clash between Tony and Junior has now become inevitable. Never mind the future, though. What an episide,