“Bottoms up!”
“Cocks in!”

Quite sensibly, the film
structures itself around some silliness in the style of late Hammer Horror vampire films, complete
with clichéd plot and the regulation lesbian vampires. We all know what to
expect from this sort of thing, so the film can proceed to milk humour out of
putting characters in this situation and respond knowingly to the clichés in a
nicely metatextual way. Hence, Fletch doesn’t really give a monkeys about the
fact that the lesbian vampires are going to completely destroy everything; he’d
rather have some fun with some rather attractive ladies and make the sort of
comments that the viewers are making to each other about the delightful
sweariness of Paul McGann’s Scouse
vicar and the clichés that abound.
Fletch is the character who makes
the film work; I found Jimmy a little wooden and the squadron of girls are just
there to look sexy. They’re good to look at though, and it’s good to hear “I
like you so much better when you’re naked” by Ida Maria. I loved that song when it came out but I’d forgotten
about it!
The best thing about the film is
the climax, with the condom “holy water” balloons and other such silliness. My
favourite moment in the whole film is when Fletch points out to the Vicar that
everybody knows how to kill vampires because of pop culture and that. This may
not be the best film ever made, but it’s unfairly maligned.
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