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Sunday, 31 July 2016

True Blood: Radioactive

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"You guys are the worst fucking makers ever!" It didn't look like there was a lot for a season finale to do. There was, in the...
Friday, 29 July 2016

True Blood: Life Matters

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"I fucked your progeny." It's a brave and oh-so-right decision to dedicate and structure this episode around Terry's funer...

True Blood: Dead Meat

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"Did you just have sex with him?" "I did." "How was it?" "Oozy, but productive." Alcide's positi...
Thursday, 28 July 2016

True Blood: In the Evening

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"Well, this is a first- waking up with a man in broad daylight." The vampires we know are to be told about the Hep V, courtesy of ...

True Blood: Don't You Feel Me

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"I'm gonna need you to tie me up..." Predictably it's Warlow who saves Sookie, and Lafayette is himself again. Warlow is n...
Wednesday, 27 July 2016

True Blood: Fuck the Pain Away

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"And I firmly believe God wants me to fuck you!" So, apparently Warlow loves Sookie and she is his "intended": that'...

True Blood: At Last

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"You deserve to be one of us..." We get the shocking reveal at the start that Ben, a half-fairy, is also a vampire, as he immediat...
Tuesday, 26 July 2016

True Blood: You're No Good

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"I was crazy and more racist than usual..." Eric and Wila have this very appealingly twisted erotic attraction, very much reminisc...

One-Eyed Monster (2008)

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"Circumcise it to oblivion with an axe!" It had to happen: a slasher movie where a bunch of people making a porn film (includi...

True Blood: The Sun

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"I was testing you and you failed miserably!" Something comes through a portal- can it be Warlow? Meanwhile, Jason gets a bollocki...
Monday, 25 July 2016

True Blood: Who Are You, Really?

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"Who the fuck is Mary Poppins and can I please kill her?" So Bill turns into a rampaging and expensive-looking god-beast, but ...

iZombie: Blaine's World

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"Nice ball sac..." So, to the finale. Blaine has Major at his mercy as the Max Rager conspiracy finally gets exposed. Oh, and Peyt...
Saturday, 23 July 2016

iZombie: Dead Rat, Live Rat, Brown Rat, White Rat

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"Now, if you wouldn't mind feeling around my lobsters for a bit..." So, Liv made a zombie in a boat while in a spot of bot...
Friday, 22 July 2016

iZombie: Astroburger

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"" Careful! Don't open yourself up to the classic reverse Sicilian gambit. That's a chess thing, right?" "Sounds...

iZombie: Mr. Berserk

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"Liv, you're off the case..." At last the Max Rager stuff moves centre stage as a journalist investigating the drink's pro...
Wednesday, 20 July 2016

iZombie: Patriot Brains

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"You'll eat human brains to get bigger muscles?" "I'm open to that as an option!" Things start rather badly for ...

iZombie: Dead Air

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"Oh, it's a zombie thing. You wouldn't understand." This episode is as much about Liv's flourishing relationship w...

Date Movie (2006)

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"In fact, growing up on a farm, I once milked a cat." Here we have one of Aaron Seltzer's many spoof movies, this time s...
Tuesday, 19 July 2016

iZombie: Maternity Liv

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"But you should eat something. Possibly. With vegetables, if you so choose." It had to happen; Liv has eaten the brain of a pregna...
Monday, 18 July 2016

iZombie: Virtual Reality Bites

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" Well, I had to escape the chilly, wet, depressing London weather. So, Seattle, naturally." That quote only narrowly beat "N...

iZombie: Flight of the Living Dead

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"I'll only hover by the phone for the next 72 hours or so. After that I'm on to the next Zombie girl." It's fascinatin...

iZombie: Liv and Let Clive

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"You got your ass kicked by a girl. Get over it." This is an episode which needed to come early in the season; any later and we...
Sunday, 17 July 2016

More Post-Referendum Stuff

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Matthew Parris has always been my favourite commentator on the right, and I think he nails it here, odd comment about Enoch Powell not being...
Friday, 15 July 2016

iZombie: The Exterminator

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"Devoid of compassion. Full of factoids." This episode is interesting as it shows us a traditional, mindless zombie; this is the f...

iZombie: Brother, Can You Spare a Brain?

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"What's more meta than a zombie, the  having a bad zombie dream?" Time to return to iZombie to complete the first season; then...
Thursday, 14 July 2016

True Blood: Save Yourself

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"You're a dick!" At last this season ends, but inconclusively. We begin with a swift resolution to the cliffhanger as Eric sud...

True Blood: Sunset

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"Kind of strange to hear you were sold to a vampire 300 years ago..." Much of this penultimate episode consists of Lilith appearin...

True Blood: Gone, Gone, Gone

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"Who's the smart one now?" Bill's idea is bearing fruit; the lack of True Blood is already leading to an increase in vampi...
Wednesday, 13 July 2016

True Blood: Everybody Wants to Rule the World

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"Whatever happens we keep our heads down, our tits up and the True Blood flowing!" We get an overdue and, in the end, satisfying r...
Sunday, 10 July 2016

True Blood: Somebody That I Used to Know

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"And  first, may I say... God has the most beautiful tits I've ever seen..." All our favourite vampire characters continue the...

The NeverEnding Story (1984)

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"To the winch, wench!" This isn't a film I have any great nostalgia for- it didn't seem to connect with me the one a...
Friday, 8 July 2016

True Blood: In the Beginning

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"Join us!" "Never, you Bible-banging cunts!" Edgington, that hypocrite who has so recently burnished his atheistic princ...

True Blood: Hopeless

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"You're no better than humans with your absurd magical thinking. There is no Lilith!" Predictably, Sookie saves everyone with ...

True Blood: Let's Boot and Rally

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"New York City smells like pee. And the people are rude." I love the opening scenes- Sookie vomiting before she's about to hav...
Wednesday, 6 July 2016

True Blood: We'll Meet Again

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"The man who wrote [the Vampire Bible ] was high the whole time.." At last Pam reluctantly steps up to be a maker/mother to Tara, ...

True Blood: Whatever I Am, You Made Me

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"These beans are as cold as titties in a brass bra." This episode, primarily, is about Tara- a character neglected last season som...
Tuesday, 5 July 2016

True Blood: Authority Always Wins

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"Can I just say... before you became a vampire you were a massive dick." I love the fact that an amused Pam just nuggets off and l...

True Blood: Turn! Turn! Turn!

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"There is dirt in my bra!" So Tara's dead. Actually dead. There's absolutely no way that a distraught Sookie and Lafayette...
Monday, 4 July 2016

Oculus (2013)

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"It was the mirror..." This could have been a very good horror film. The central idea is sound, indeed very good, if a littl...
Friday, 1 July 2016

True Blood: And When I Die

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"Dude! I'm dead, you're a medium; I'll always be with you." An ominous finale; we know someone is going to die and by ...

True Blood: Soul of Fire

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"Why are you on top of me?" "Because you're handsome." This penultimate episode starts from Jessica's POV, as th...

True Blood: Burning Down the House

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"You were the best part of my life..." A lot of things are upended in an episode which sees Tommy's tragic ebbing away wit...
Thursday, 30 June 2016

True Blood: Let's Get Out of Here

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"Blame the witches. America's had no problem doing it in the past."  We begin with both Alcide and Bill desperately trying to ...

True Blood: Spellbound

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"Jesus, tits and God America, Jason!" Now here's a tune I recognise- classic early period Siouxie and the Banshees! Anyway... ...
Wednesday, 29 June 2016

True Blood: Cold Grey Light of Dawn

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"I am not a zombie!" The possessed Marnie escapes from Bill's helpless clutches as we get some light relief with Tara escaping...

True Blood: I Wish I Was the Moon

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"But, ifyou turn into a panther, won't the cuffs just fall off...? Bill is not at all happy to find that Sookie has been hiding the...
Tuesday, 28 June 2016

True Blood: Me and the Devil

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"Insanity comes with the job." Tommy isn't in the clutches of his awful parents for long; he kills them. Oops. Meanwhile, Marn...
Friday, 24 June 2016

EU Referendum Result

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Bugger. That is all.

True Blood: I'm Alive and on Fire

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"Don't fuck this up. How many retired kings do you know?" Eric has just killed and drunk from Claudine, a full-blooded fairy, ...
Thursday, 23 June 2016

Doctor Who- Online Reconstructions of Missing Stories

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Some superb online reconstructions of missing episodes from the '60s, the splendid work of MrVortexofDOOM... https://m.youtube.com/chann...
Wednesday, 22 June 2016

Spider-Man (2002)

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"You're not Superman." I'll be generous; this film is well-made, well-acted, looks good, has a decent plot and it wa...

True Blood: If You Love Me, Why Am I Dying?

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"You just killed my fairy godmother!" "Sorry." This episode is largely about the amnesiac Eric, and how, vampire or not,...
Tuesday, 21 June 2016

True Blood: You Smell Like Dinner

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"It's Bon Temps, Sook. Not like I expected the red fucking carpet!" So Eric bought the house because he wants to protect Sooki...

True Blood: She's Not There

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"I have a fairy godmother???!!!" This is certainly the weirdest season opener so far as Sookie begins in the Land of Faerie hearin...
Monday, 20 June 2016

Unfriended (2014)

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"You're really sexy when you're violent..." This surprisingly splendid film is not, to put it mildly, about the expe...

iZombie: Pilot

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"Why the hot sauce? Is that a zombie thing?" This series, based on a DC Vertigo miniseries, only has two short seasons on Netflix ...
Sunday, 19 June 2016

The EU Referendum: Why I'm Voting Remain

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So here it is: why, given the many absurdities of EU institutions, am I voting Remain with such great certainty?  After all, it's instit...
Saturday, 18 June 2016

True Blood: Evil Is Going On

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"You watch you're fuckin' language!" This is it, then. We begin with Eric and Russell dying in the Sun together, but then ...
Thursday, 16 June 2016

True Blood: Fresh Blood

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"There are consequences, even for Russell Edgington." It looks as though it's the jealousy of Eric's Estonian human girl t...

True Blood: I Smell a Rat

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"No dancing, no religion!" Right from the off we start with Bill providing the big reveal about what Sookie is: she's a fairy-...
Wednesday, 15 June 2016

True Blood: Everything Is Broken

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"I wanted to meet the sick fuck who ordered the veggie burger with bacon." No wonder Eric and Pam are panicking; Russell Edgington...