The Gifted- Season 1, Episode 7: eXtreme measures

"All he ever believed in was Magnet Girl..."

A lot of different threads are unfolding- it must be mid-season- in an episode that luxuriates in the fact that we finally know the score ad things can unfold. So we see, in flashback, as Marcos is recruited by John and Lorna, with whom there is a spark from the start. We also see Lorna's disgusted reaction as John is forced to do an underworld ob for his dodgy ex, Carmen. He remains a prisoner of his past.

The same is true of Wes, to whom, following last episode, Lauren is taking a shine. It turns out he has a history of petty theft, but after a bit of a kerfuffle, and some father/daughter awkwardness, he is allowed to overcome them. He and Lauren are still parted for other reasons, though.

John heads off in pursuit of Clarice to find out that she, too, is a prisoner of her past, trying to trace what happened to the foster carers who used to look after her and other mutant children. When John helps her to discover the awful truth- all the people she loved were murdered by Sentinel Services- she finally has a reason to join the Mutant Underground.

Yet most tragically a prisoner of his past is Jace, mourning his daughter again, as he does a deal with the sinister Dr Campbell in agreeing to be more "aggressive" in the use of apparently brainwashed Mutant "assets" called "Hounds". When a lady comes from the Department of Justice to shut this down as being quite illegal and appalling for a free society she is assaulted by a shockingly racist rant from Jace, reminding us that, whatever his personal tragedies, he's a colossal twat. And then said lady suffers a highly convenient stroke...

Meanwhile, the Mutants finally finish reading all the stuff they nicked last week, where they read of Trask Industries (we who know our old comic books recognise that name!) and a family connection for Reed...

The Punisher: War Zone (2008)

"Who punishes you?"

The first Punisher film was, well, a load of late '80s tat with Dolph Lundgren, but fun for that very reason. The second one was, well, shite. This is, in spite of a decent but workmanlike script, elevated by the stylish direction and talented cast into something special.

The script is pretty good, f not great, and gives us Microchip- Wayne Knight is superb- and Jigsaw himself- Dominic West is transcendentally good. The film lives and breathes through its excellent direction; camera angles, framing, use of light are all a cut above what one might expect and Lexi Alexander shows an understanding of how to make an action film work narratively. And then there’s Norn Iron’s very own Ray Stevenson: unlike either Dolph Lundgren or Thomas Jane, he IS Frank Castle, playing the stubborn stoicism of the character while hinting just enough at the pathos beneath.

All this is applied to a pretty par-for-the-course action film plot, but one that allows the central character breathe and one that explores the natural consequences of his actions as he murders an undercover operative. The film emphasises with the Punisher but, importantly, respects his motives without pretending he’s a good guy. Ultimately, though, this is a well-made action film that respects the source material and is cast well. Unexpectedly good.

Inhumans: Behold... the Inhumans

“This is why nobody invites you to do their birthday toasts...”

I’m told the critics didn’t like this, but Mrs Llamastrangler certainly did. First impressions are positive enough, though, although this isn’t the greatest programme ever so far. Fan service is present and correct; the episode ends with Maximus’ coup, but before Lockjaw spirits then away to Hawaii we see Triton (is he dead?), Medusa, Black Bolt, Crystal, Gorgon and Karnak all present and correct. The characters and their powers are all as per the comics, and we’re introduced to Attilan (on the Moon, don’t you know) with an awful lot of spectacle.

There are no stars in the cast, but the relative unknowns are largely impressive, particularly Anson Mount as Black Bolt, necessity requiring physical acting. The whole thing looks rather good, with some splendid CGI; Lockjaw looks awesome, as does Medusa's hair, although the fact that Maximus cuts it off in the first episode means they clearly couldn't afford to maintain the CGI.

This episode is the story of Maximus' coup, instigated against his brother because he wants Inhumans to seize Earth rather than be crowded where they are. Yet Black Bolt rules over no paradise; those Inhumans who get no powers from the Terrigen mists and, unlike Maximus, are not royal, are made to labour in the mines. This is a caste-ridden society, and clearly no democracy.

Overall this is a decent introduction, so I'll give the series a chance. If nothing else, that little cartoon of Lockjaw by the logo is awesome...

Friday the 13th: The Final Chapter (1984)

"What happens if a psycho wanders in?"

Sigh. That was boring. It may have had a slightly more famous cast than usual, with Corey Feldman and the always bizarre sight of a hound Crispin Glover not playing George McFly, and have been helmed by Chuck Norris’ favourite director to boot, but this dragged more than any other film in the franchise.

Oh, it starts well, with Jason apparently dead until he comes to life for no apparent reason, and the first deaths are rather amusing. But then the rest of the film goes on to spend too much time following some rather dull teenagers with their romantic escapades punctuated with a series of random deaths which are gory, yes, but have no build-up, no tension. The film isn’t even trying to be scary, and comes across like a half-arsed romantic comedy for far too long. The gory killings, many of them visually impressive, are brief and followed by cuts to more teenage japery.

For the fourth film in the series- with a massive “previously on”- thus offers nothing different to the format except for not even trying to be scary. And I have no idea what they’re trying to do with little Tommy at the end- set him up as another killer? Disappointing, and not helping with my determination to finish them all.

Pet Semetary II (1992)

"You bury your own."

This film is supposed to be awful. It is, or so I e found, perfectly adequate as a serviceable sequel to a quite good film which deals well with the fact that no actors recur from the first film by simply depicting further shenanigans with that Native American cemetery. It’s a perfectly ok film, and an interesting early starring role for an immediately post-Terminator 2: Judgement Day Edward Furlong.

If that sounds like faint praise then it sort of is, but the film is genuinely adequate rather than bad. I liked the bait and switch film-within-a-film opening, and the plot works well at least until the point where people start being resurrected, where things go a bit mad and we end up with a full three resurrected people. Still, it’s an entertaining watch, with Gus the sheriff being an entertaining cartoon baddie in a solid performance by character actor Clancy Brown, a familiar face from so many character roles.

It’s solid, but not really scary. There’s a nice little electrocution scene at the start (“Oh yummy, beef jerky” said Mrs Llamastrangler. She’s a somewhat twisted individual, but that’s why I married her.) but not much else in the way of set pieces, and perhaps a lot of that is down to the solid, competent but unexceptional directorial style. It’s a film that neither sparkles nor stinks, the epitome of averageness.

Avengers: Infinity War (2018)

“There’s an Ant-Man and a Spider-Man?”

At last I can stop dodging spoilers. I’ve seen it, at last. And it was bloody good. SPOILERS, mind.

Big, epic films are usually rubbish. Going epic tends to mean you can’t avoid being a bit po-faced and pretentious. This avoids that triumphantly by peppering the film with both humour and poignant character moments- so Thor gets to open up to, er, Rocket Raccoon about all the people he’s lost recently and, hilariously, Tony Stark and Doctor Strange spend the entire film in a willy waving contest while Bruce Banner spends the whole film dealing with what Mrs Llamastrangler described as “symbolic erectile dysfunction”. Peter Quill and Thor are also hilarious together.

The whole thing is structured, shot and acted superbly by the usual suspects, and it’s extraordinary how so many characters can be given meaty stuff to do in a little under two hours, although perhaps Captain America could have had some more screen time. I notice, of course, that Hawkeye and Ant-Man are described as inactive in dialogue. Of the few new faces, Joan Brolin is superb as a faithfully rendered Thanos while Peter Dinklage also turns in a good performance and, indeed, accent, as a dwarf who forged great weapons out of stars- I like how the film is very cosmic but how it all has a fantasy flavour, cut from the same cloth as Asgard. The film is superb, and the only reason some other Marvel films probably better is because they don’t have so many narrative jobs to do.

But the deaths, ah, the deaths! I somehow suspect that the half of the universe who died at the end won’t stay dead but, alas, I fear that may not be true for Loki, Gamora or the Vision...

The Gifted- Season 1,Episode 6: got your siX

" Nothing says father-son bonding like breaking into a federal building."

Six episodes in and the subplots are all interacting nicely. We also seem to have got to know all the main characters now and things are moving noticeably faster. Revealingly, there’s a longer “previously on”.

We begin with a flashback, though, to four years ago, as John experiences anti-Mutant racism in the wake of 7/15. Interestingly, too, we’re told he was chosen to lead the Mutant Underground by the X-Men, and that the X-Men are expecting a war. This is interesting wider world building, and only the second and third mentions of the X-Men.

We also learn that other Mutants beside Pulse may be working with Sentinel Services, an escalation, and John in turn decides to up the ante with a raid on a mysterious facility at Baton Rouge. Much of the episode revolves around this but a lot of character development happens. In particular, Clarice confronts John on his acceptance after the fact of what Dreamer did to her- and leaves. I’m not sure whether, next time, she will be friend or foe.

Then there’s Jace again, back at work after mourning his child a second time and cutting legal corners in a disturbing pursuit of revenge. He’s now willing to accept the help of Doctor Campbell who, in true TV drama cliche style, he turned down in a previous episode- and Campbell shows a particular interest in “the Strucker children”.

We also have both Andy and Lauren going on missions and developing their powers, both with the reluctant consent of their parents, who are both doing well under the circumstances but struggling to adjust to the harsh new reality. We’re also introduced to Wes, with his power for illusions, who connects with Lauren and proves his usefulness at the dramatic episode ending. But we end with Marco’s being summoned by Carmen to do nefarious things...

A good episode, and one with many moving parts. The Gifted may not be the stuff of greatness, at least not yet, but it’s the stuff of very good indeed.

The Three Musketeers (1973)

“You cannot go to the Queen with dirty legs...”

I hadn’t seen this before, amazingly, so I certainly raised an eyebrow when the opening credits revealed this film to have been scripted by George MacDonald Fraser. This gives certain expectations and, true to form, the film turns out to be a highly entertaining and rather bawdy comedy that has a lot of fun with the culture of realpolitik and duelling that prevailed in the France of Louis XIII. This is a rather straight adaptation of the novel, albeit one in which Faye Dunaway as Milady gets oddly little screen time, but one that adds a splendidly comical gloss to what was hardly the most serious novel to begin with.

This is a decadent France reigned, but not ruled over by the feckless Louis XIII, not half the man his father was or, indeed, his son will be, leaving a vacuum to be filled by the ambitious Cardinal Richelieu, a competent but oddly miscast Charlton Heston, with the far more suitable Christopher Lee in a lesser role. Perhaps they just needed a big Hollywood name, but why hardly use Faye Dunaway?

Regardless, the whole thing looks gorgeous, odd though the Hong Kong martial arts opening may be, and the cast is quite magnificent. Michael York is the perfect bumbling D’Artagnan for this film,  Raquel Welch is the perfect sultry Constance, and Christopher Lee mystifies is all A’s to why he isn’t playing the Cardinal. The film is pretty much stolen by the splendid comic acting of Spike Milligan though, who shoes us what a bloody comic genius he is.

I don’t think I’ve seen a finer version yet than this.

First Blood (1982)

"We ain't hunting him- he's hunting us!"

Appallingly, I'd never seen this '80s action classic until now. First impressions are that, yes, it's a superb action movie, crammed with sizzling set pieces, yet I came expecting a B movie, and what I got was unexpectedly full of pathos. It's 1982; the Vietnam War ended nine years ago for America. But it seems the returning soldiers were shockingly neglected, materially and emotionally, by their country. And, while this is often seen as a right-wing taking point, Rambo's sobbing breakdown before Colonel Trautman seems to be a rebuke at America's individualistic lack of social democratic institutions.

Anyway, this is an awesome film, and cleverer than it  looks. The initial scene establishes that his only purpose is to find his old friends from the war,  it now the last of them is dead, and he’s alone, alienated, in an America with no place for him. And when Will, a two bit sheriff of a shitty little town in Washington state (those accents are a bit southern, though- is this really accurate?) starts to persecute him for no reason it escalated into a war with a trained and flawless killing machine, leaving things to escalate and escalate with each set piece topping the last and every single minute being utterly gripping. And yet Stallone, playing the macho and taciturn Rambo, never loses sight of the character’s pathos.

The whole thing is brilliantly made, from the brief but shocking Vietnam flashbacks during the early police brutality scenes to the Dukes of Hazzard car chases, and the ever-escalating stakes are completely believable. A much better film, and one with much more of a heart, than I was expecting.

The Gifted- Season 1, Episode 5: boXed in

“This is the best terrible meal that I’ve ever had!”

This is just as gripping as the last episode as The Gifted slowly burrows its way into my brain. The mutants and the Struckers are all free and all together- although not without tension as Reed’s last actions are revealed- and chief baddie Jace is pulling out all the stops to find their HQ, rounding up all sympathisers.

Except our view of Jace as a straightforward black hat is now challenged by the revelation that he lost his only daughter in a 9/11 analogue event that, in a nice bit of world-building, seems to have been the cause of all these repressive policies. He’s given a motive and, in a subtle touch, a multi-racial family to challenge our seeing him as a straightforward racist.

The Mutant Underground is under real pressure and in real danger of their base being found and, lovely though it is seeing Lorna and Marcos together again and taking some time to be excited about their baby despite everything. But Reed makes sure that his operational knowledge is of use and, at no small risk to himself, puts Sentinel Services off the scent. Meanwhile Caitlin again shows her use as a nurse, although not without considerable help from Lauren’s powers. But the Struckers are together, and all agreed for now to stay and help. This feels like the end of the origin story bit so the main stuff can begin, but it’s all very well plotted out. And all the characters are becoming subtly more and more developed. The confrontation between Blink and Dreamer, who violated her memories, is powerful.

More powerful of all, though, is the ending- Dreamer has messed with Jace’s memories, he’s forgotten his daughter is dead, and must mourn her all over again, the worst torture imaginable and one that makes it impossible for us kid to sympathise with the antagonist. Superb stuff.

The Dead Room

"When were you born?”

“1990.”

“Christ!”

This is an admittedly cheap but well cast attempt in BBC Four where Mark Gatiss (naturally!) writes and directs a deliberately modern slant on M.R. James style ghost stories for Christmas. It’s a very good piece of drama with excellent dialogue, a superbly characterised central character, and yet... it isn’t eerie or scary. And it’s not immediately obvious why.

Simon Callow is, inevitably, spellbinding in the central role of Aubrey Judd, veteran radio teller of horror stories, while Anjli Mohindra alsonimpresses as his obscenely young producer in what is essentially a two hander on two similar sets and could easily have been a stage play. This isn’t the 1970s M.R. James adaptation so no sumptuous location filming please; we’re BBC Four.

The script is in many ways superb and literally gothic in that a sun from Aubrey’s past literally comes back to haunt him. Yet, in the wake of A Very English Scandal, there are many poignant reminders of the real dangers of being gay in the 1970s, something which works well. I also admire the light breakage of the fourth wall as Aubrey eloquently deconstructs the modern ghost story; it can’t be too modern, requires a certain distance, more or less within living memory, and a certain old-fashioned reticence in holding back the nature of the horror. You can, he claims, base a horror tale on a horror from as recently as the ‘70s!

And yet, good though this is as a little piece of drama, it doesn’t quite work. I’m not sure the script is to blame, or indeed Gatiss’ direction; I suspect it’s the case that limited resources are the culprit here, and the play just isn’t scary. And that’s a shame.

Spider-Man 3 (2007)

“Where do all these guys come from?”

The critics didn’t like this film; I went in knowing that. So I’m left wondering what parts low expectations had in what I made of the film, but I liked it; perhaps more so than Spider-Man 2, and that certainly isn’t what you’re supposed to think.

We’re told this film is an overcrowded mess with too many villains. Well, it isn’t. Both Sandman and Venon are tied in well to Peter Parker’s character development and play important roles, as does Harry Osbourne.  Gwen  Stacy plays an important role too; the film packs a lot in but doesn’t feel rushed. Instead, it actually justifies its long running time.

The core of the film is, of course, the symbiote as a symbolic representation of Peter’s dark side- the arrogance, the selfishness, the temptations that lurk within us all. From a situation of seeming perfection at the start of the film- things are going well for Peter in his love life, studies, work and Spider-Man is insanely popular- we immediately know that the bubble is bound to burst and, importantly, Peter starts to show some neglect for MJ’s work problems before the symbiote even affects him, but as soon as he puts in the dark costume (it’s a shame they didn’t use the proper version of the costume, as Benom looks pretty similar, but heigh-ho...)

Yes, Venon gets relatively little screen time, but a version of Eddie Brock is well used, Harry (whine, conveniently, we already know) is well used and Flink Marco (Sandman) is given a tragic backstory and an important role into being (rather crudely) retconned into Ben Parker’s killer. He’s well portrayed by Thomas Gaden Church and, while both he and Venom have limited screen time, I liked the way both were used. This isn’t a Joel Schumacher Batman film; all the characters are properly developed, however minor, including May, Jonah and the rest of the supporting cast.

So ignore the criticisms; this is a fine film. It also has a top cameo by Bruce Campbell as a snooty French maitre d’, and the CGI with both Sandman and Venom deserves an awful lot of praise. It’s sad that this is the last of the Sam Raimi films; I wish they had more of a wisecracking Spidey, but the trilogy is excellent on the whole, and ends on a high.

The Greatest Showman (2017)

"They're laughing anyway, kid. So might as well get paid."

This is notorious, of course, for being the film that critics utterly despised yet going on to become a massive word-of-mouth hit. Having now seen it I can see why it did well; it’s very well-shot and choreographed. Nevertheless, I didn’t like the songs at all as they sound like contemporary  chart pop with all the unlistenable production that implies, but some people must like chart pop.

This is a musical about Phineas T. Barnum, a figure whose life I know only in broad strokes and who is famous these days mainly for the apocryphal “there’s a sucker born every minute”. But the film presents him, Hugh Jackman’s charm and his being a good family man aside, as a deeply exploitative bastard who exploits those with actual talent- even if the “talent” is to be a dwarf or bearded woman- in order to make himself rich. He’s no better than Simon Cowell, a deeply unpleasant individual who uses, abuses and discards people and is a morally disgusting beast of a human being. When he finally abandons his “freaks” for a night, not wanting them to be seen by his posh mates as he puts on a big opera do, we see how little they mean to him in spite of giving him his fortune, and the bearded lady gets an uplifting song. Yet later on, in a perverse type of Stockholm syndrome, when Barnum nearly loses everything they insist on staying as part of the “family”. This is very uncomfortable to see.

And perhaps that’s it; it’s superbly directed and very well made, and well acted in spite of the central character’s surprising blandness, and I suppose the songs are aimed at people who can stand modern chart pop- they certainly aren’t show tunes- but I’m not sure what the script is trying to do. It seems to want to be a simple, escapist melodrama but you can’t really deal with the theme of “freak shows” without having something coherent to say about them, and this film doesn’t. It’s very well made by it’s largely Australian crew, but in the end it’s a largely empty experience.

The Ash Tree

“Cut it down!”

An obscure little gem, this; a thirty minute BBC drama from 1975 and the first of the legendary screenplays based on the ghost stories of M.R. James (who, alas, I have not read) that I’ve seen, courtesy of BBC 4 on Christmas Eve.

It’s well-made on location, superbly acted with a role by none other than Lalla Ward as the not-to-be Lady Fell, and uses good, economic direction to tell a rather complex, non-linear story very quickly. You have to pay attention and, I suspect intentionally, not everything gets explained- what are the creatures in the tree? What’s the connection of the tree to the witch trials of a century earlier? We get only a general gist of what’s going on, but a bit of mystery is good. It’s refreshing to watch something from a time when the audience wasn’t talked down to, earlier. We aren’t spoon fed; the only clue to Sir Richard’s time period is the clothing and the fact that Tom Jones is a current novel, and the switch between time periods is narrated visually rather than overtly signalled. Edward Petheridge, whom I know best as George III in Jonathan Strange & Mr Norell, is superb both as Sir Richard and the hypocritical Sir Matthew, who directly causes an innocent woman to be hanged as a witch.

This packs an awful lot into thirty-odd minutes and is a nice little curio from the BBC of the ‘70s. I shall certainly try and watch more of these M.R. James Christmas ghost stories.

Doctor Who: Resolution

“I always think I’m rid of them. I never am.”

This episode was written by Chris Chibnall. It is genuinely superb. Those two sentences don’t feel right together but, incredibly, they belong together on this occasion. This is a brilliant piece of telly, with a genuinely superb dramatic scene between Ryan and his father, and the best use of the Daleks since, well, Dalek, using the threat posed by one Dalek to banish all memories of recent years to re-establish them as the ultimate baddie to be feared.

The set-up is superb; narration, a mediaeval fairytale backstory and a mythical tale of an ultimate monster split into thirds and buried in far-flung places. A pair of archaeologists established as real characters through good dialogue before one of them is put through the wringer. And yet the true brilliance is in the basic plot- a naked Dalek without its casing reassembled after twelve centuries and forced to manipulate humans slowly into building it a makeshift casing out of available materials like an episode of the A-Team. This is brilliant not only because it's a fresh and superb take on the Daleks but because we are establishing that not only is one Dalek an unimaginable threat but that it doesn't even need any weapons or equipment or anything other than, well, a bubbling lump of hate itself to come damn close to annexing this planet.

Even better, the reveal of the Dalek casing is quite rightly held back, and the Heath Robinson nature of this Dalek has us clamouring for us to see how they actually look in the Chibnall era. No doubt we have that to look forward to. Next bloody year.

If I may nerd out a little more, though, it's great to have the little fan nods ("I wish I could remember exactly how long a Rel is") and the firm statement that there is no Kate Stewart and no UNIT in the Chibnall era; the Doctor and her friends are on their own. UNIT has been mothballed, it seems, for pettifogging and deeply shortsighted financial reasons, as happens in politics all the time, and the UK has decided to leave an international organisation which is vital to its security and prosperity and bugger the frankly terrifying consequences. It's good that nothing analogous is happening in real life, right?

This is also a much better episode for the Doctor and her by now very well-knit crew; right from the tour of the universe's best CGI for New Year at the start they're a united and supportive bunch, although Yas yet again seems to get the least to do. It's a phenomenally strong Ryan episode, of course, introducing us to his dad Ryan after a lot of set-up over the last season. The result is an extraordinarily written scene in a cafe between father and son, and a masterfully written arc for Ryan, Aaron and Graham. I like the nuances of Aaron's character; far from being a cipher of a deadbeat dad he's a highly competent and able engineer, and while no excuses are made for his past behaviour he's shown as genuinely wishing to feel his way towards redemption. And Chibnall should be praised for resisting the easy cop-out ending of having Aaron sacrifice at the end; instead his near-death helps him with beginning to re-connect with his son.

Come to think of it, not a single named character dies- in a Dalek story.

I can't really fault this. I spent the whole of Season 37 waiting in vain for Chibnall to wow me, and at last he's done it. For the first time he's written a story for Doctor Who that is worthy of debate as to whether it deserves classic status. What took him so bloody long?